Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Wisconsin
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 38 inches
of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year
because Park Falls is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy",you
might live in Wisconsin.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might
live in Wisconsin.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, you
might live in Wisconsin
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of HeadCheese,
you might live in Wisconsin.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you have either a pet or a child named "Brett", you might live in
Wisconsin.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in
Wisconsin.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a
wrong number, you might live in Wisconsin.
If you know how to say Oconomowoc,Waukesha, Menomonie & Manitowoc, you
might live in Wisconsin.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, you might live in
Wisconsin.(What???????)
If every time you see moonlight on a lake, you think of a dancing bear,
and you sing gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters,....you might live in
Wisconsin.
Series II.YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE WISCONSINITE WHEN:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the
highway.
2. "Vacation"meansgoing up north past Hwy 8 for the weekend.
3. You measure distancein hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5.You often switch from"heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
6. Your wholefamily wears PackerGreen to church on Sunday.
7. You can drive 65 mphthrough 2 feet of snowduring a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
8. You see peoplewearingcamouflage at social events. (including weddings
and funerals )
9.Youinstall security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
10.Youthink of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
11. You carryjumpercables in your car and your wife or girlfriend knows how
to use them.
12.There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Mill's Fleet Farm
at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14.Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
15. You refer to the Packers as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,stillwinter and road
construction.
17. You can identify a southern or easternaccent.
18. You have no problem pronouncing Lac Du Flambeau.
19. Youconsider Minneapolisexotic.
20. You know how to polka.
21. Your idea ofcreativelandscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue
spruce.
22. Youwereunaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down South to you meansIllnions .
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party tocelebrate his newpole shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday
27. Your 4thof July picnicwas moved indoors due to frost.
28. You have more miles on yoursnow blower than yourcar.
29. You find minus twenty degrees "a little chilly."
30. You actuallyunderstand these jokes, and you forward them to all your
Wisconsin friends.
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