you must be father christmas as you seem to have received my present list
----- Original Message -----
From: Fred Thomas <vafred@erols.com>
To: <triumphs@autox.team.net>
Cc: <spitfires@autox.team.net>
Sent: Friday, November 19, 1999 2:19 PM
Subject: xmas shopping ( long)
>
> I received this from a fellow T/R owner and thought some may appreciate
it.
>
> Christmas is just around the corner so here are some gift ideas
> for those special men in your life! Buying gifts for men is not
> nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and
> you should have no problems.
>
> Rule #1:
> When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if
> he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet
> to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless
> drills. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #2:
> If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the
> word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words.
> "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are
> you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows
> why.
>
> Rule #3:
> If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A
> 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to
> hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.
> No one knows why.
>
> Rule #4:
> Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
> bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear
> bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
>
> Rule #5:
> You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have
> worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen
> TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as
> he flips, and flips, and flips.
>
> Rule #6:
> Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will
> sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
>
> Rule #7:
> Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or
> deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
>
> Rule #8:
> Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within
> a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.
> "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get
> the idea. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #9:
> Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on
> the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have
> parts left over.
>
> Rule #10:
> Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr
> Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab
> Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also
> excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know
> what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need.
> Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow!
> Thanks.")
>
> Rule #11:
> Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will
> barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane
> tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The
> challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
>
> Rule #12:
> Tickets to a Vikings game are a smart gift. However, he will not
> appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
> everyone knows why.
>
> Rule #13:
> Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
> If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens
> when he gets a label maker.
>
> Rule #14:
> It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
> extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must
> be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
>
> Rule #15:
> Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or
> at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet
> of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
>
>
>
>
>
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