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Date: Thu, 22 Aug 2002 11:07:23 -0500
From: Steve Hanes <shanes@bigplanet.com>
Subject: FW: FW: FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL/after 10
To: shanes@bigplanet.com
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> > > > >Subject: First Day of
> > > > > School (humor)
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the
son
> > > of
> > > > >a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
> > > > >
> > > > >The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who
> > > > >said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
> > > > >
> > > > >She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, "Patrick
Henry,1775."
> > > He
> > > > >said.
> > > > >
> > > > >"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for
the
> > > > >people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
> > > > >
> > > > >Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln,
1863.",said
> > > > >Suzuki.
> > > > >
> > > > >The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
> > > Suzuki,
> > > > >who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you
do."
> > > > >
> > > > >When she heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs."
> > > > >
> > > > >"Who said that?" she demanded.
> > > > >
> > > > >Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
> > > > >
> > > > >At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
> > > > >
> > > > >The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
> > > > >
> > > > >Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime
Minister,1991.
> > > > >
> > > > >Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
> > > > >
> > > > >Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
> > > teacher,
> > > > >"Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky 1997!"
> > > > >
> > > > >Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If
you
> > > say
> > > > >anything else, I'll kill you."
> > > > >
> > > > >Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to
> > > Chandra
> > > > >Levy, 2001."
> > > > >
> > > > >The teacher fainted and as the class gathered around the teacher on
the
> > > > >floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"
> > > > >
> > > > >And Suzuki said, "Arthur Andersen, 2002."
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