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Friday funny

To: "Healey List" <healeys@autox.team.net>
Subject: Friday funny
From: "David Ward" <david@bighealey.ltd.uk>
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2005 18:44:14 -0000
 Subject: Friday Funny.  
  
  
  
Shopping at K-Mart 
 One day, in line at the works cafeteria, 
 
Jack says to Mike behind him, 
 
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd 
 
better see a doctor." 
 
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the 
 
surgery," Mike replies. 
 
"There's a diagnostic computer at K-Mart 
Just give it a urine sample and 
 
the computer will tell you what's wrong, 
 
and what to do about it. 
 
It takes ten seconds and only costs five 
 
Dollars.....a lot quicker and 
 
better than a doctor". 
 
 
 
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small 
 
jar and takes it to K-Mart 
 
He deposits five pounds and the computer 
 
lights up and asks for the 
 
urine sample. He pours the sample into the 
 
slot and waits. Ten seconds 
 
later, the computer ejects a printout: 
 
 
 "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in 
 
warm water and avoid heavy 
 
activity. It will improve in two weeks". 
 
 
 
That evening while thinking how amazing 
 
this new technology was, Jack 
 
began wondering if the computer could be 
 
fooled. He mixed some tap 
 
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine 
 
samples from his wife and 
 
daughter, and masturbated into the mixture 
 
for good measure. 
 
 
 
Jack hurried back to K-Mart, eager to check 
 
what would happen. He deposits 
 
five dollars, pours in his concoction, and 
 
awaits the results. 
 
 
 
The computer prints the following: 
 
 
 
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water 
 
softener. 
 
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with 
 
anti-fungal shampoo. 
 
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get 
 
her into rehab. 
 
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They 
 
aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 
 
5. And if you don't stop playing with 
 
yourself, your elbow will never 
 
get better... 
 
 
 
 ........thank you for shopping at K-Mart 

Regards.
David.




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