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RE: Ready for Friday?

To: "David" <dcrawfor@san.rr.com>, healeys@autox.team.net
Subject: RE: Ready for Friday?
From: "tom felts" <tomfelts@earthlink.net>
Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2006 00:31:42 -0500
you say---"Next week I'l try to find some funnies about Protestants... ."

Best pass on the Muslim ones:):):)


> [Original Message]
> From: David <dcrawfor@san.rr.com>
> To: <healeys@autox.team.net>
> Date: 3/9/06 11:18:39 PM
> Subject: Ready for Friday?
>
> Please don't be offended.  From David, one of the wandering tribes...
> .
> I love these.
>
> JEWISH MOTHERS
>
> A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and
> that he is
> going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Mother, I'm going to
> bring over three
> women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
>
> The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into
> the
> house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He
> then
> says, "Okay, Mother, guess which one I'm going to marry?"
>
> She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
>
> "That's amazing! You're right. How did you know?
>
> The Jewish mother replies, "I don't like her."
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like
> Chinese
> food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won
> Ton
> spelled backwards is Not Now.
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
> A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
>
> Q: Why do Jewish Mothers make great parole officers?
> A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
>
> Q: What's a Jewish American Princess' favorite position?
> A: Facing Bloomingdales
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
>
> "Not too good", says the mother. "I've been very weak."
>
> The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
>
> "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
>
> The son says, "That's terrible! Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
>
> The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with
> food
> if you should call."
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he's been
> given a part
> in the school play.
>
> "Wonderful! What part is it?" replies his mother.
>
> The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
>
> The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a
> speaking part."
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?
> A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
>
> Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
> A: (Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a
> nuisance
> to anybody.
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the
> street
> and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."
>
> "Force yourself," she replied.
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish Mother?
> A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
> -----------------------------------------------------
> Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."
>
> ###
>
> Next week I'l try to find some funnies about Protestants... .
>
> David C
> San Diego




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