I found this today whilst cleaning out the mailbox (that's still mostly
empty after the crash!)... It made me chuckle. Hope you enjoy it, too.
Carol
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I know you've all heard the recently coined slang phrase "Going Postal".
Here are some more examples, from the book "Jargon Watch", just published
by Wired magazine . . . (By the way, for the out of touch: Going Postal -
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference
to the unfortunate track record of postal employeeswho have snapped and
gone on shooting rampages.)
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes
off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy
facial expressions, and interruption of speech in midsentence.
Chips and Salsa - Chips hardware, salsa software. "Well, first we gotta
figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
Crapplet - A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just
wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
Dancing Baloney - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless
and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a
little dancing baloney will help."
Depotphobia - Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how
much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia.
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
leave a company or a department soon.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
"Don't bother asking him. . . he's 404, man."
Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no
matter where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what
city we were in."
GOOD Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order
to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent
again.
Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a
prime example.
Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards.
Midair Passenger Exchange - Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on
collision.
Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain."
Nyetscape - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake. Seen in Elizabeth P. Crowe's book The
Electronic Traveller. [Sender's note: I have always referred to that
microsecond as an "awsh*t".]
PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and
Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've
submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users
who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on
the above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.")
Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube
farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the
walls to see what's going on.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, sh-ts over
everything and then leaves.
Square-headed Girlfriend - Another word for a computer.
The victim of a square-headed girlfriend is a "computer widow."
Telephone Number Salary - A salary (or project budget) that has seven digits.
Tourists - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the rest
were tourists."
Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing. "This is Dale,
my...um...friend..."
Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice
president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of
an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the
operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
Vulcan Nerve Pinch - The taxing hand position required to reach all of the
appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm boot for a
Mac II involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key,
the Return key and the Power On key.
Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all
owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
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