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Early Easter Humour

To: jensen-cars@british-steel.org
Subject: Early Easter Humour
From: WSpohn4@aol.com
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 1999 15:35:29 EST
 Some truth in at least some of these, I think.

<< > > Rules Guys Wished Girls Knew
 >
 > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
 > > 2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
 > > 3. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if
 > > he can find the perfect present, again!
 > > 4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
 > > answer you don't want to hear.
 > > 5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
 > > 6. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to
 > > discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster
 > > trucks.
 > > 7. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
 > > 8. Sunday =3D sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
 > > the tides. Let it be.
 > > 9. Shopping is not sport.
 > > 10. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
 > > 11. You have enough clothes.
 > > 12. You have too many shoes.
 > > 13. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to
 > > like it.
 > > 14. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
 > > 15. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark
 > > anniversaries on a calendar.
 > > 16. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes. What makes you think
 > > we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look
 > > good with your dress?
 > > 17. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
 > > 18. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
 > > 19. Check your oil.
 > > 20. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
 > > 21. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz
 > > together.
 > > 22. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
 > > argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
 > > 23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
 > > ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
 > > 24. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it
 > > done -- not both.
 > > 25. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
 > > commercials.
 > > 26. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
 >

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