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Fwd: British News Bits no LBC

To: "MG List" <mgs@autox.team.net>, "Spridgets" <spridgets@autox.team.net>
Subject: Fwd: British News Bits no LBC
From: Larry Macy <macy@bblmail.psycha.upenn.edu>
Date: Fri, 25 Jun 1999 09:25:51 -0400
Just thought you might like to start a weekend with a little humor

 
 
 British News Bits
 
 ___ From the Churchdown Parish Magazine: ___
 'Would the Congregation please note that the
 bowl at the back of the Church labeled "For The Sick",
 is for monetary donations only.'
 
 ___ From The Guardian concerning a sign seen in
 a Police canteen in Christchurch, New Zealand: ___
 'Will the person who took a slice of cake from
 the Commissioner's Office  return it immediately. 
 It is needed as evidence in a poisoning case.'
 
 ___ From The Times: ___
 'A young girl, who was blown out to sea on a
 set of inflatable teeth, was  rescued by a man on 
 an inflatable lobster.  A coast-guard spokesman
 commented, "This sort of thing is all too
 common these days."
 
 ___ From The Gloucester Citizen: ___
 'A sex line caller complained to Trading
 Standards. After dialing an 0891 number from an 
 advertisement entitled "Hear Me Moan" the caller was
 played  a tape of a woman nagging her husband for
 failing to do jobs around the house.  Consumer Watchdogs
 in Dorset refused to look into the complaint, saying, 
 "He got what he deserved."
 
 ___ From The Daily Telegraph in a piece headed
 "Brussels Pays 200,000 Pounds to Save Prostitutes": ___
 "... the money will not be going directly into
 the prostitutes' pocket, but will be used to encourage
 them to lead a better life.  We will be training them 
 for new positions in hotels."
 
 ___ From The Derby Abbey Community News: ___
 "We apologize for the error in the last
 edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a 
 Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical
 error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective
 in  the Police Farce."
 
 ___________________________________________________________


Larry B. Macy, Ph.D.
macy@bblmail.psycha.upenn.edu
System Administrator/Manager
Neuropsychiatry Section
Department of Psychiatry
University of Pennsylvania
3400 Spruce St. - 1015 Gates
Philadelphia, PA 19104


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