Frank!! Are these true???? LOL
18 BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN THE NEW JERSEY AREA
1-- A right lane construction closure is just a game to see
how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit
in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back
in before hitting construction barrels.
2-- Turn signals are just clues as to your next move in road
battle so never use them.
3-- Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you no matter how fast you're
going. If you do, the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in
an even more dangerous situation.
4-- The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller
the chance you have of getting hit.
5-- Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body
work. (Remember no-fault insurance, he might not have as much to lose,
as you do.)
6-- Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to
insure that your anti-lock braking system kicks in to give you a nice
relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. (Dunno about this
one--with English Brakes it is advisable to brake as hard and early as
possible.)
7-- Construction signs tell you about road closures
immediately after you pass the exit but before the traffic begins to
back up.
8-- The electronic traffic warning system signs are not there
to provide useful information, just to make the Turnpike look
progressive.
9-- Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
10-- Speed limits are arbitrary figures to make NJ look as if
it conforms with other state policies; these are given only as
suggestions and are readily unenforceable.
11-- Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to
speed up or move over doesn't mean that the driver flashing his
high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
12-- Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut
during rush-hour traffic on the Garden State Parkway.
13-- Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident
or even a person changing a tire. If you're lucky, you may see the
unwitting breakdown victim get mugged, the proceeds of which are
vested directly into the Democratic front-runner's campaign for mayor.
14-- Learn to swerve abruptly. NJ is the home of the
high-speed slalom driving thanks to NJDOT, who put potholes in key
locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
15-- It is traditional in NJ to honk your horn at cars that
don't move the instant the light changes. The city is founded upon
such traditions.
16-- Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your
right of way.
17-- Giving the finger may invite armed retaliation.
18--All unmarked exits on the Parkway lead to downtown Newark
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