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West Texas Humor...no LBC

To: spridgets@autox.team.net, midgetsprite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: West Texas Humor...no LBC
Date: Tue, 30 Apr 2002 22:05:33 EDT
Well after a wonderful time in CT with Jeff and Rick in Innocentiville and
Morristown.
I head back to Texas tomorrow, and my wife sent me the following ditty...
Robert Houston

"Give me an army of west point graduates and I can win any battle.  Give me a
handful of Texas Aggies and I can win any war."  G. PattonSubject: West Texas
wind...


The weatherman says it's supposed to be blowing 50 MPH tomorrow. Ahh,
springtime in the Panhandle! See what you're missing?
s

> A visitor asked a West Texas cowboy, "Do you ever get tornadoes out here?" 
The cowboy replied. "Yeah, we had one a while back, but it ran into a
sandstorm
> outside of town and got ripped to pieces."
>
> A visitor asked a West Texas cowboy,  "Doesn't it ever rain here?"
> The cowboy replied, "Sure. There was a half inch of rain a couple of weeks
ago just a few miles north of here, but I was busy and couldn't go."
>
> The wind blows so hard out in West Texas that at a Drive-In Theater it once
> blew Gene Autry right out of the saddle.
>
> A little brown hen once got caught in a West Texas windstorm. She was
flying through the air backward so fast that she laid the same egg three
times.
>
> It was so windy the prairie dogs were digging holes forty feet in the air.
>
> It was so dry the Baptists were sprinkling, the Methodists were spitting,
and
> the Catholics were giving rain checks.
>
> It was so hot I saw a Roadrunner trying to pull a worm out of the ground
using pot holders.
>
> It was so cold that a farmer threw a dipperful of water at his dog and it
froze in midair and knocked the pup unconscious.
>
> A visitor to Amarillo asked a local rancher, "How do you stand the wind
blowing so hard every single day?" The rancher said, "You just have to get
> used to it - learn to kinda lean into it.  In fact, one day last fall the
wind
> stopped all of a sudden, and all the chickens in the Panhandle fell plumb
over."
>
> During a period of heavy sandstorms, a rancher visited his bank and applied
> for a loan. The banker warned him, "I'll have to come out and inspect the
> property first."  The rancher replied, "That won't be necessary. Here it
> comes now."
>
> YANKEE: "Does the wind blow this way all the time?"
> TEXAN: "No, sometimes it blows the other way."

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