In response to the very same article, David Letterman had this Top Ten last
night.
Top Ten Signs Your Cat is Trying to Kill You.
10. You find a .22 buried in the litter box.
9. "Fluffy" has been scratched into you will.
8. As it rubs against your leg, you feel the sting of a hypodermic needle.
7. The threatoning meows on your answering machine.
6. Your cat is on the episode of Springer titled "I want my owner dead".
5. He's been hanging around with the dog who's trying to kill you.
4. Newspaper calls to confirm obituary for next week "Hated pet owner meets
violent death".
3. Top step of your basement stairs is covered with slippery layer of Fancy
Feast.
2. To the tune of Meow Mix somg sings "kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill..."
1. You overhear your cat on the phone with Robert Blake's cat.
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