The following list of rules applies to each person as they enter
Texas.
Learn 'em & remember 'em.
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a
pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you
drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get
out of the way.
3. They are pigs, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to
you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like
it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south.
Pick one.
4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we only drive 3
weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we
WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't
have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi &caviar?
it's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless
of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or
you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of
ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and
Picante Sauce.
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better
be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the
Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards -- it
spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come outta there with an education plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at
passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, it will get your butt
whipped by the best.
17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:
"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United
States can't make it without Texas."
GOD BLESS TEXAS!!!
Robert Houston
"For Americans war is almost all of the time a nuisance, and military skill
is a luxury like Mah-Jongg. But when the issue is brought home to them, war
becomes as important, for the necessary period, as business or sport. And it
is
hard to decide which is likely to be the more ominous for the Axis -- an
American decision that this is sport, or that it is business."
-<A HREF="http://www.quoteland.com/author.asp?AUTHOR_ID=515";>D. W. Brogan</A>,
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