> Subject: ALGEBRA
> Date: Sun, 22 Feb 2004 23:39:49 -0600
> At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to
> be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in
> possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
> At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he
> believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is
> charged by the FBI with carrying Weapons of Math Instruction.
> "Al 'Gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average
> solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
> absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to
> themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common
> denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. "
> "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
> every triangle," Ashcroft declared.
> When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
> wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given
> more fingers and toes.
> William F. Roberts
> 35081 West Fairview Road
> Oconomowoc, WI, 53066
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