Men are like......Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest
Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Men are like.....Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Men are like.....Cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
Men are like.....Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.....Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers.
If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like.....Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
Men are like.....Snowstorms.
You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how
long he will last.
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12 ways to know you're a woman
1. You're a bitch
2. When asked, is something bothering you?
Reply NO, then get pissed off when you're believed.
3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves
parties, start dating him and immediately expect him to change his
behavior.
4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the
evening.
5. Whine.
6. If you are trying to sleep, its because you're exhausted from your
almost superhuman level of daily achievement. If he's
trying to sleep,its because he's lazy.
7. If he pays attention to you, he's smothering you.
8. If he gives you space, he is ignoring you.
9. Demands to be treated as an equal in everything, except when paying
for meals, plane tickets, concerts, beers, etc. These are required
gifts proving his love.
10. Declare PMS at any given time. If he is knowledgeable about your
cycle, tell him you're irregular from all the stress in your life.
11. Remember that any woman who so much as looks at your
boyfriend(husband) must be labeled a whore and your network of
friends must be informed immediately to spread this as quickly as
possible.
12. Make his life miserable by making him feel guilty about doing
anything other than catering to your needs.
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