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Paternity

To: team-thicko@autox.team.net
Subject: Paternity
From: Neil_Oldfield@nag.national.com.au
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 1999 08:59:30 +1000


The following are all replies that have been included on Child Support
Agency forms in the section for listing father's details.

****
Regarding the identity of the father of my twins child A was fathered by
[name removed]. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but
I
believe that he was conceived on the same night.
****
I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being
sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you
with
a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this
helps.
****
I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived
at a party [address and date given] where I had unprotected sex with a man I
met
that night.  I do remember that the sex was sogood that I fainted. If you
do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number ? Thanks
****
I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW
thatnow has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps
you
can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
he's had it replaced.
****
I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ
risen again.
****
I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so
would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the
British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right
by my country please advise.
****
I do not know who the father of my child was as all squadies look the same
to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.
****
[name given] is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you
ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs ?
****
>From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney maybe
it really is the Magic Kingdom.
****
So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember forsure
is Delia Smith did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd
have
stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the
party at [address given] mine might have remained unfertilised


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