> - Its an annual honor given to the person >who did the gene pool the
biggest service by killing themselves in the most >extraordinarily stupid
way. Last years winner was the fellow who was killed >by a Coke machine which
toppled over on top of him as he was attempting to >tip a free soda out of
it.
>
>And this year's nominee is:
>
>The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded into
>the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The
>wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car. The type
>of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured out what it
>was and what had happened.
>
>It seems that a guy had somehow gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take
>Off - actually a solid fuel rocket) that is used to give heavy military
>transport planes an extra "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had
>driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight
>stretch of road. Then he attached the JATO unit to his-,car, jumped in, got
>up some speed and fired off the JATOI
>
>The facts as best as could be determined are that the operator of the 1967
>Impala hit JATO ignition at a distance of approximately 3.0 miles from the
>crash site. This was established by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt
>at that location. The JATO, if operating properly, would have reached maximum
>thrust within 5 seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of
>350 mph and continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The
>driver, soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually
>reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, basically
>causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event. However,
>the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20)
>seconds before the driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing
>the tires and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming
>airborne for an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height
>of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.
>
>Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments
>of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and
>bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of
>the steering wheel.
>
>================================
>
>Now, what do you suppose was the last thing that went thru this guy's mind?
>Hood ornament? Maybe the left front fender? Education is now and has always
>been the KEY to great accomplishment. It is the tool of the wise. Here's
>hoping your mind is filled with desire for great accomplishment, and
>determination to gain the tools needed for the quest. Comments anyone? >Merry
Christmas!
>
>At Your Service,
>
>Jeff
>
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