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Smoke Test

To: Tigers <tigers@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Smoke Test
From: "Cullen Bennett" <Cullen_Bennett-P21988@email.mot.com>
Date: Mon, 12 Oct 1998 10:53:12 -0700
Hi to all,
This note was extracted from a model engineers digest that has a lot of
Brits on it. Its not new, but still humerous. Even they recognize the
truth in it. One of the fellows (British) commented that you can tell if
your vehicle electrics were Lucas by the inscription on the light switch
"Off....Dim...Flicker". Sound familliar?

Cullen in Tempe (B9472658)
~~~~~

 Electrical  Theory by Joseph Lucas

    "Positive ground depends upon proper circuit functioning, which is
the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral
manifestation known as "smoke".  Smoke is the thing that makes
electrical circuits work; we know this to be true because every time
one lets the smoke out of the electrical system, it stops working.  This

can  be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

    When, for example, the smoke escapes from an electrical component
(like,  say, a Lucas voltage regulator),  it will be observed that the
component stops working.  The function of the wire harness is to carry
the
smoke  from one device to another; when the wire harness "springs a
leak."
and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards.
Starter motors were frowned upon in British motorcycles for some time,
largely  because they consume large quantities of smoke, requiring very
large
wires.

It has been noted that Lucas components are possibly more prone to
electrical leakage than Bosch or generic Japanese electrics. Experts
point out that this is because Lucas is British and all things British
leak.  British engines leak oil, shock absorbers and hydraulic forks and

disk brakes leak fluid, British tyres leak air, and the British
defense establishment leaks secrets... so, naturally, British electrics
leak
smoke.  From the basic concept of electrical transmission of energy in
the
form of smoke, a better understanding of the mysteries of electrical
components - - especially those of Lucas manufacture - - is gained
by the casual user."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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