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[Tigers] Retrospective on Alternative History by Larry Wright and Steve

To: tigers <tigers@autox.team.net>
Subject: [Tigers] Retrospective on Alternative History by Larry Wright and Steve Laifman
From: Jay via Tigers <tigers@autox.team.net>
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2021 19:43:55 -0800
Delivered-to: mharc@autox.team.net
Delivered-to: tigers@autox.team.net
I was going though old papers, and came across some early 1996 Tiger group 
emails that I had printed out back in 1996.  Yeah, remember that?  Paper 
printing?  This was 25 years ago!  Larry was clearly in a creative mood and 
sent five emails about alternative history, then my dad provided a few of his 
own.  I hope you enjoy this - and add some new ones!!!!  

Larryâ??s (all five emails combined):

1965:  Sunbeamâ??s fastback Tiger LeMans series now account for half of Tiger 
sales, outstripping sales of Chevroletâ??s Corvette.  Fordâ??s new fastback, 
the Mustang, off to a slow start.

1966:  For the second year in a row, Sunbeam Tigers finish 1-2-3 at both LeMans 
and Sebring.  The lightened Superleggera bodywork, supplied by Touring of 
Italy, provided a dramatic performance improvement versus their first efforts 
in 1964.

1967:  Ford Motor Company resists pressure from its own dealers, and their 
domestic competition, to discount sales of engines to the Rootes Group, maker 
of the popular Sunbeam Tiger.  A six month waiting list exists for the popular 
cars, while domestic high-performance cars languish on dealersâ?? lots.

1968:  Safety advocate Ralph Naderâ??s attack on the Sunbeam Tiger has fizzled. 
 His allegations of high risk for fire when struck from behind rang hollow when 
few instances of rear-end collisions were reports.  Sunbeam management was 
heard to comment on the carâ??s high speed potential - "if the Tiger is that 
fast, how could it be hit from behind?â??

1969:  Yet again, the NHRA Summernationals dominated by the Tigress, a 
variation of the popular Sunbeam Imp powered by Fordâ??s V8 engine.  Most 
important manufactures retrenching in the face of dizzying sales of Rootesâ?? 
economy, and performance champion.

1970:  What would have been epoch-making safety legislation this year has been 
voted down in the Senate.  The pressure of public opinion, led by repeated 
protests by owners of the ubiquitous Sunbeam Tiger, indicates the public just 
does not want the styling of their cars spoilt by heavier bumpers or other 
safety features.

1971:  American Motors reports it may have to change its name, now being owned 
by a British company.  The Rootes Group hopes to cover the beleaguered Kenosha 
companyâ??s plants to production of the Sunbeam Tiger, which incidentally is 
rumored to be come mid-engined in the next model year.  It is hoped that 
Wsconsinâ??s economy will benefit as Britainâ??s has, with record low 
unemployment for yet another year.

1972:  With so many of Fordâ??s V8 engine supplied in Rootes' Sunbeam Tigers, 
as well as the expanded Humber range and the revived Singer and Talbot brands, 
Ford is now the second biggest user of their own engines.  In other news, 
collectors are rumored to be removing those V8â??s to install four-cylinder 
engines to create replicas of the now-discontinued Alpine variant.

1973:  President McGovern today meets with Britainâ??s Prime Minister George 
Harrison.  It is expected that the US may pull out of NATO unless the 
balance-of-trade problem caused by sales of the cars built by the Rootes Group 
can be resolved.

1974:  Sears, Roebuck & Co. announced today that their 1,731 auto centers 
nationwide will become effectively Sunbeam Dealerships, offering new cars 
(badged as Allstates), servicing and parts.  Unique to Searsâ?? new approach is 
a racing preparation department, with high-performance engine by the Shelby 
American Corporation, a company believed to have been involved with Sunbeamâ??s 
successes in the early 1960â??s.

1979: Sunbeamâ??s return to Formula One racing is in its fifth year, and 
expecting a second championship for star driver Mario Andretti.  The success 
enjoyed by Rootesâ?? competition department in using the Ford Cosworth V8 has 
prompted an announcement that this engine will power the next generation Tiger, 
breathing new life into this perennial best-seller.

1980:  The racing world was shocked today by NASCARâ??s decision to admit the 
Kenosha-built Tigers in Grand National racing, leaving no major motorsports 
venue secure from the primacy of the Rootes group.  One wonders if the carnival 
bumper-car rides are the only place to avoid being trounced by Sunbeams.

1982:  This monthâ??s Auto Industry Report features an in-depth interview with 
the Rootes chemist responsible for the new substance TripolyOxyFerron, which 
results from applying a new patented molecule to rusted steel, and is stronger 
than the original steel on which it is based.  This is expected to be received 
well by owners of existing Rootes products.  Also announced this month, by 
mail-order house J.C. Whitney, is a related product, a finish-abrading kit for 
car owners.  The news release claims â??guaranteed prompt restting of any 
carâ?? and urdes car owners to. â??Man their cars sturdier today.â??  A legal 
blocking action by Norton, Bear and other sandpaper manufactures is pending.

1988:  Completing an industry consolidation unprecedented in history, Rootes 
Group has acquired both Morgan Cars, Ltd. and the Rover Group, leaving Rootes 
the only carmaker in Britain.  Roverâ??s Jaguar marque, always at a performance 
and marketing disadvantage versus Sunbeam, now faces an uncertain future.  A 
spokesman for Morgan, however, states that no changes to their operation are 

1991:  A news release from United Artists hints at details of â??Icebreaker,â?? 
the next James Bond film.  Actor Michael J. Fox, in the role for the third 
time, will drive a Sunbeam Tiger with suitable modifications in the picture.

1992:  Sunbeam dealers across the county can begin taking orders for 
ABS-equipped Tigers.  All that is required is to check off box LAT2718 on the 
order form.  Also, LAT2713, the rear-fasting third seat for the Husky mini-van, 
should begin shipping this week against all orders placed to date.

1996:  Shrewd investors in the classic-car market suggest that the next 
â??sleeperâ?? bound for rapid increases in value is the Shelby Cobra, an 
obscure roadster from the early 1960â??s.  A few hundred of these Ford-powered 
sports cars were built, and they enjoyed some racing successes until succumbing 
to all-conquering Sunbeam Tigers.  Pick one up now for as little as five 
thousand dollars, and you can expect the value to double in the next five years.

2207:  Breakthroughs have been made on translating the transmission from Tau 
Ceti, giving valuable insight on how the Cetans became aware of us in the first 
place.  It seems that the Fredgling Cetan space program stumbled upon one of 
our old deep-space probes, the Star Tiger, launched by Rootes Aerospace late in 
the 20th century.  The earliest message-segments translated are requests for 
the whereabouts of one of their dieties, a Mr. Kenneth Howe, who the Cetans 
apparantly feel we can deliver to them.  Historians are urgently searching the 
archives of the World Government for clues on the subject, as well as why the 
Cetans feel we share their religious deference for the number eight.  Stay 
netted for updates on this fast-breaking story.

Steve Laifman (I so hear his humor in these):

1967:  British-Aerospace, a subsidiary of the Humber Divisions of the Rootes 
Group, has announced a joint venture with Renault-Aerospatiale to develop a 
supersonic transport airplane.  This â??SSAâ?? will travel at nearly twice the 
speed of sound from London to New York in 2 hours.  Powered by phased arrays of 
289 cu. in. V-8 motors, manufactured in Coventry by the Singer-Jaguar Division, 
are said to be capable of extra-atmospheric flight.  Ticket reservations are 
being taken for a 200 pound English Sterling deposit, or $250,000.00 American 
dollars.  (400 pound balance due 6 months prior to departure).

1977: The first manned lunar landing, by Astronaught Sterling Moss, was 
accompanied by his cryptic historical comment â??One small step for man one 
more world to conquer for Alpine!â??  His historic voyage aboard the two-seater 
Sunbeam Tiger MoonMobile was only marred twice by having to smartly strike the 
Lucas fuel pump with his bumpershoot handle to restart the 900,000 horsepower 
Ford V-512 cylinder Tiger air-breathing rocket motor.  This motor is made by 
the Singer-Ford subsidiary of the Rootes Group in Colonial Arkansas.  
Astronaught Moss pre-launch remarks about the sensibility of carrying 250,000 
miles of Dunlop-Goodyear air-hose was taken as only in jest by His Majesty, 
while Mrs. Moss and the Children were present at the TV viewing in the 
luxurious and famous Tower of London Royal Apartments. (Note from Jay: as most 
know, my dad was an actual rocket scientist, who certainly knew how to spell.  
So I can only surmise that when my dad typed â??astronaughtâ?? it was another 
one of his tongue-in-cheek comments, and note that Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner 
spelled it that way for a gag they did).

1983:  The rumored production of a retro-Alpine 1955 dropped coupe by the 
insular Honda Motor Car Company of Japan has been denied by the Ministry of 
Trade and Industry (MITI).  They are quoted as saying â??Any manufacture of 
products protected by international copyright and patent agreements could never 
happen in this country.  The rumor of nostalgia buffs is denied, and apologies 
are tendered to His Majestyâ??s Government and were delivered toPrime Minister 
John F. Kennedyâ??s ambassador, the Right Honourable Michael Jackson.â??  His 
Majestyâ??s Government accepted the apology and stood down the Colonial Seventh 
Fleet being prepared for battle in Cookâ??s Harbour, Honolulu Colony. 

In other news, Setsumosa Kiosaka, manager of research and development at the 
Nissan-Mazda division of Honda was found to have committed ritual sepuku by 
severing his arms, legs, and head simultaneously in five rooms of his Tokyo 
apartment. No comment was forthcoming rom his widows or corporate spokesmen.  



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