At risk of pushing the off-topic posts above the 20% correctness
threshold, here's some funnies:
> Before criticizing someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when
you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their
shoes.
> If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let' em
go,
because, man, they're gone.
> If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them
down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good
reason.
> To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something
when
you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give
me a
hand?" You can say "Sorry, got these sacks."
> If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the
mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a
panic.
> Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my
first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant
and
she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
> To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no
choreography. And the dancers hit each other.
> I hope if dogs ever take over the world and they choose a king,
they
don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas
with
some good ideas.
> Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word
itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words
mank" and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and
so
is mankind.
> If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else
flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye
contact.
> It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And
I
guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting
there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
> If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a
beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
> As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red
again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than
a
bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
> I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without
hate.
And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never
expect it.
> I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its
eggs
in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good
idea but it's just eggs hatching.
> Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right
there,
in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read
good
books.
> Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks
out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess
that's
like a regular window.
> During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was
not
putting on your armour because you were "just going down to the
cornershop."
Adam Turner
'74 TR6
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