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humour no LBC

To: "triumphs@autox.team.net" <triumphs@autox.team.net>
Subject: humour no LBC
From: Fred Thomas <vafred@erols.com>
Date: Thu, 27 May 1999 17:54:38 -0400
 Some interesting senior observations!
> Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
> Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to
their
> diets.
> You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair
> that you once got from a roller coaster.
> Why women over fifty don't have babies. They would put them down and
> forget where they left them.
> One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make you
> gain five pounds.
> My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
> Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes
> away.
> God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right
now
> I'm so far behind, I will live forever.
> It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to
> ask you the questions.
> I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.
> There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full.
> Time may be the great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
> Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
> The nice part about living in a small town is that when I don't know
> what I'm doing, someone else does.
> The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
> your body and your fat are really good friends
> Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometime age comes alone.
> Just when was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
> Sometimes I think I understand everything. Then I regain
consciousness.
> You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you

> stop laughing.
> Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while, and it
> shrinks two sizes.
> Age is important, only if you're a cheese.
> Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
> Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
>


This was passed along too me today, and I thought I would share, please
no offenses are intended.  "FT"


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