[JAGNUTS] Santa's E-Type drive

[E.A. Driver]

Merry Christmas Bob and to the Jagnuts
Kind regards
Margaret and Ed
Saskatoon

Bob England wrote:

> Mildly altered and severely plagiarized form an original adaptation ...
> 
> 'Twas the night before Christmas
> And in the garage,
> Not trace of a Bimmer, or Porsche,
> Benz or Dodge
> 
> The presents were wrapped
> And the lights were all lit
> So I figured I'd polish the Jag
> For a bit
> 
> As I popped the releases
> And lowered the hood
>>From behind me I heard
> "My, she looks pretty good."
> 
> As you can imagine
> I turned mighty quick
> And there by the workbench
> was good ol' Saint Nick!
> 
> He stood for a bit
> Unsure just what to say
> Then 
> "How 'bout an even-up trade for my sleigh?"
> 
> I said "sorry Santa"
> And started to grin
> "But if you've got time
> We could go for a spin!"
> 
> His round little mouth
> Puckered up like a bow
> Then into a smile
> As he said "well let's go!"
> 
> So as not to disturb
> All the neighbours' in sleep,
> We pushed the ol' E-type
> Out into the street
> 
> Then instructing old Santa
> "Hold on for your life"
> I pushed the start button
> She roared into life
> 
> The sound that erupted
> Took him by surprise
> But he liked it a lot
> By the look in his eyes
> 
> With Dunlops a wailin'
> An' tail pipes aglow
> We drifted the E-type
> around in the snow
> 
> Then Santa's grin widened
> Near out to his ears
> As right sprightly quick
> I went through all four gears
> 
> He yelled
> "Can't recall when I've felt so alive!"
> So I backed off the throttle and asked
> "Wanna' drive?"
> 
> Ol' Santa was stunned
> When I tossed him the keys
> As he walked past the headlights
> I saw shakes at his knees
> 
> Then the engine exploded
> With powerful sounds
> He let out the clutch
> Wire wheels spun around
> 
> Power shift into second
> Then fast into third
> I sat there just watching
> At loss for a word
> 
> Through fourth he did race
> And with no more to go
> His foot off the throttle
> Then braked in the snow
> 
> Around a right-hander
> With knuckles a whitening
> I felt a bit queasy
> His driving quite frightening
> 
> Past home and the wife
> With her face at the window
> She must have had thought
> Of becoming a widow
> 
> On to the highway
> Our path then did lead
> We passed just 'bout all
> As he pressed on at speed
> 
> Then slowing to turn 'round
> My heart skipped a beat
> We passed a black ghost car
> No radar a'beep
> 
> Well fine'ly he pulled up
> In front of my place
> Blood returned to my knuckles
> To knees and to face
> 
> Climbing into in his
> Old red eight reindeer sleigh
> He smiled back at me
> In his jolly old way
> 
> Then I heard him exclaim
> as he blasted from sight
> "Merry Christmas to all
> And Ho-Ho-Ho;
> What a night!"
> 
> Bob England
> Merry Christmas to all Jagnuts
> And Best wishes for the New Year
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