[Shotimes] (OT) Cookin'

[Ron Porter]

A little "OT" to start out the New Year!

Ron Porter

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Subject: Cookin'




How a Honda employee bakes a potato:

* Preheat new, high-quality oven to 350 F
* Insert a 1.0 lb Idaho potato
* Go do something productive for 45 minutes
* Check for doneness, then remove perfectly baked potato from oven and serve


How a Ford employee bakes a potato:

* Conduct market test with suppliers in Mexico, Brazil, and Turkistan to
supply 0.75 lb potatoes, choose lowest cost supplier with best Wings tix
* Change to incumbent supplier of Idaho potatoes, insist they meet Turkistan
pricing with 3% annual price reductions
* Upgrade to 1.0 lb potato, insist supplier erred by pricing for 0.75 lbs as
instructed when he knows Honda uses 1.0 lb potatoes
* Instruct  potato supplier to preheat the oven to 350 F
* Demand that the supplier show you how he turned the dial to reach 350 F,
and have him come up with documentation from the oven manufacturer proving
that it was calibrated properly
* Review documentation, then have supplier check the temperature using a
sophisticated temperature probe
* Direct supplier to insert potato and set timer for 45 minutes
* Have supplier open oven to prove potato has been installed correctly, and
request a free study proving that 45 minutes is the ideal time to bake a
potato of this size and variability due to orientation within the oven
* Request a Six Sigma Study showing variable cook times for various potato
sizes and orientations
* Check potato for doneness after 10 minutes
* Check potato for doneness after 11 minutes
* Check potato for doneness after 12 minutes
* Become impatient with supplier (why is this simple potato taking so long
to bake?).  Demand status reports every five minutes.
* Conduct Value Engineering session and new market test
* Change to 0.9 lb potato because customers will only notice if potato
weight is reduce to 0.85 lb
* Check potato for doneness after 15 minutes...
* After 35 minutes, conclude that potato is nearing completion.  Pass
through Gate review reporting all Green status.
* Congratulate supplier, then update your boss on all the great work you've
done, despite having to work with such an uncooperative supplier
*  Remove potato from oven after 40 minutes of baking, as a cost save
without loss of function or quality versus the original 45 minute baking
time.
* Serve potato
* Wonder aloud what on earth those Japanese folks are doing over there to
make such good, low-cost baked potatoes that people seem to like better than
Ford potatoes