[Shotimes] OT Star Trek humor

[Mike.Wojton@us.o-i.com]

Speaking of Star Trek, here's an oldie but a goodie...

The Top 14 Changes in a Country-Western "Star Trek"

14.  Every Friday night, the entire crew heads down to the cargo bay
      for the big Tractor Beam Pull.

13.  Original character Mr. Spock: raise an eyebrow, mutter "fascinating."
      New character "Yosemite" Spock: Pop off a few rounds, holler "Great
      horny toads!"

12.  The Prime Directive now mostly concerned with restrictions on 
marriage
       to other family members.

11.  Space is still the final frontier, but the first stop is Winn Dixie 
for a
      case of Busch and some Luckies.

10.  Good aliens = mullets;  Bad aliens = mullets and goatees.

 9.  Every time a new alien is introduced, Spock says, "Captain, if I 
may...
      them's good eatin'."

 8.  Incoming message chime replaced by "Dueling Banjos."

 7.  Captain Kirk still sleeps with anything that moves -- as long as he's
      related to it.

 6.  Lieutenant Commander Data up on blocks in the front yard, waiting
     for parts.

 5.  "Dammit, Jim!  I'm a doctor, not a NASCAR driver!"

 4.  "Away Team -- set banjos on stun."

 3.  Picard's usual replicator order?  "Skins.  Pork.  Fried."

 2.  Before every commercial: the Enterprise freezes in mid-air, Kirk lets
      out a rebel yell, and Waylon Jennings does a voice-over where he 
says,
      "Looks like them Federation boys just ordered up a second helping of
      trouble, and that's what the Klingons are servin'!"


Mike Wojton
Toledo, Ohio

-'95 White MTX
   '96 Brake Upgrade

"Avoid the clap." - Jimmy Dugan


 1.  New title for "Amok Time" is "My Girlfriend's Ugly; I Done Kilt My 
Best Friend; And My Ears Are Sore."