[Shotimes] This one is for Porter

[Dave Pillsbury]

A young woman in Cheboygan was so depressed that she decided to end her 
life by throwing herself into the Straits. She went to the Mackinaw 
Bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome
young sailor saw her tottering on the rail, crying.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm 
off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my 
ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll 
keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a 
fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the 
sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every 
night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they 
made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by 
the captain.
"What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.
"I get food and a trip to Europe , and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Mackinaw Island Ferry."