[Spridgets] Humour and quotes

[Robert Duquette]

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to
leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

- - - - - -

A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."

After awhile the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"

"Both son, both."

"Daddy, does God love children?"

"Yes son, he loves all children."

The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson
God?"

- - - - - - - - -

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar
territory.
   - Paul Fix

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
   - Woody Allen

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.
   - Oscar Wilde