War Wheels

© 1997 W. R. Gibbons

Reprinted with Ray's permission
(Midi Sound - currently plays in Internet Explorer, Netscape will work as soon as we can fix a server setting)

To those suffering from untrue wire wheels, I offer the following rockabilly ditty I have just wrote, right here on the terminal, yes...

 (Sung to the tune of Maybelline in something approximating an Ozark accent. If you have trouble with an Ozark accent, imagine you are a trucker speaking on the CB, or President of the US)

 War wheels, why cain't you be true?
War wheels, why cain't you be true?
You done started back doin' the things you used to do...

 Sent my wheels to British War,
All new spokes, and all new tars,
Got 'em round and got 'em straight,
Done up in matte silver, they looked first rate.

 War wheels, why cain't you be true?
War wheels, why cain't you be true?
You done started back doin' the things you used to do...

 I greased the splines and bopped the hubs,
They won't fall off, nosir bub,
Spun 'em good and watched 'em shine,
They went 'round 'n 'round in a perfect straight line.

 War wheels, why cain't you be true?
War wheels, why cain't you be true?
You done started back doin' the things you used to do...

 A curb or two and three potholes later,
Had a shimmy at 60 and a shakin' at 80
If I'd seen Maybelline in that Coupe de Ville,
She'd have got clean away right over that hill.

 War wheels, why cain't you be true?
War wheels, why cain't you be true?
You done started back doin' the things you used to do...

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