Hey guys,
Pulled this from the Vultures Roost "vintage racing page".
Jarrid Gross
LUCAS LTD.
Internal Memorandum
To: All Departments
From: Joseph Lucas
Subject: Smoke
As you know POSITIVE earth (ground) depends upon proper
circuit funtioning, with the transmission of NEGATIVE ions by retention
of
a visible spectral manifestation known as "SMOKE". Clearly, smoke
is the thing that makes electrical circuits work! We know this to be
true,
because every time one allows the smoke out of an electrical system, it
stops working. This can be verified repetedly through empirical testing.
For example, whenever the SMOKE escapes from a electrical
component (like, say one of our LUCAS voltage regulators), it will be
observed almost immediately that the component stop working. The
function of the wire harness is to carry the smoke from one device to
another, but when the wire harness springs a leak, thereby letting the
smoke out of the system, nothing works thereafter. This explains why,
for years, British Motorcycles did not employ starters. Starter motors
were frowned upon largely because they require very large wires,
thereby consume large quantities of SMOKE.
LUCAS components appear to be more prone to this electrical
leakage than other makes, such as BOSCH, or even generic Japanese
electrics. We have investigated this, and our consultants advise us
that this is not surprising, nor out of character. LUCAS is British, and
all
things British leak! British engines leak oil. British dampers,
hydraulic
forks, and disc brakes leak their fluids. British tyres leak air, and
the
British Defense Department leaks secrets, so...quite naturally, British
electronics will leak
SMOKE. From this basic concept of electrical transmission of
energy (in the form of SMOKE) a better understanding of the mysteries
of electrical components (especially our own LUCAS components) can
be gained by the casual user.
Let us hope so.
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