I don't usually even read these kind of messages,
but this one hit 99.756 on. You guys have to
identify with this. Since Keith said this site
is not just for racing stuff, I thought I'd share
one personal incident that this message
illuminated in my otherwise dull memory. Many,
many, years ago, my dad told me to mow the lawn -
- -every day for a week. On Friday, my mother
reminded me that dad was really pi$$#@ off, and
if the lawn wasn't mowed when he got home, my
date for the night was cancelled - - and it was
already 4:00. I ran to the garage like a track
star, only to find that there was no gas for the
mower, and no time to go get any. All except the
front 4 feet of the lawn was mowed, however, by
the time my dad got home at 5:30. "The mower
just broke before I could finish." I explained
to him. I got to go on my date that night. In
the forty years that followed, I never told my
dad that it was a mixture of nitro-methane and
Mazolla corn oil that had fused the piston skirt
(the only part of the piston that was left) to
the cylinder. Considering he's the same dad that
took me for a ride on Daytona's beach at 150+ mph
in a Chrysler 300c when I was just barely a
teenager, I have a feeling he's looking down on
me right now saying that he knew all along.
Dick J
--- Joseph Timney <TIMNEYJJ@sterlingdi.com>
wrote:
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>
> Enjoy !
>
> --=_257367C0.AECFA12C
>
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> From: EClancy3@aol.com
> Received: from EClancy3@aol.com
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> for <EClancy3@aol.com>; Tue, 29 Jun 1999
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> Message-Id: <51619b15.24a9fbb3@aol.com>
> Date: Tue, 29 Jun 1999 06:36:35 EDT
> Subject: Joke of the Day
> To: EClancy3@aol.com
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>
> YOU MIGHT BE A RACER IF...
>
> - You think the primary purpose of wings is to
> PREVENT flight.
>
> - You take your helmet along when you go to
> buy new eyeglasses or check =
> out=20
> cars (seats).
>
> - You feel compelled on a road trip to beat
> your previous best time.
>
> - You are happiest when your street car's
> tires are worn to racing =
> depth=20
> (wear bars showing).
>
> - When something falls off of your car, you
> wonder how much weight you =
> just=20
> saved.
>
> - When you hear 'overcooked it', instead of
> food you think 'off the =
> track'.
>
> - You change engine oil every other week.
>
> - You sometimes hear little noises from your
> passengers when you get on =
> the=20
> throttle right after turning in.
>
> - You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater
> behind how to drive around =
> a=20
> highway off-ramp.
>
> - Your racing budget is one of the big three
> -- mortgage, car=20
> payments/maintenance, dating.
>
> - Your email address refers to your race car
> rather than to you.
>
> - You walk proper lines through the grocery
> store.
>
> - You've been known to yell "It means 'check
> your mirrors' dammit!" at =
> your=20
> television.
>
> - You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without
> complaining.
>
> - You buy new parts because you don't know
> where you put the spares.
>
> - You bought a race car before buying a house.
>
> - You bought a race car before buying
> furniture for the new house.
>
> - You're looking for a tow vehicle and still
> haven't bought furniture!
>
> - You find that you need a new house because
> you've outgrown your garage =
> and=20
> the neighbors are threatening violence if you
> park one more vehicle on =
> the=20
> street or in the front yard.
>
> - The requirements you give your real estate
> agent are (in order of=20
> importance):
> 1) 8 car climate controlled garage with
> an attached shop.
> 2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a
> motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a=20
> 28'enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
> 3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for
> your welder.
> 4) A grease pit.
> 5) Convenient to a hazardous waste
> disposal site.
> 6) Deaf neighbors.
> 7) Across the street from a paint and
> body shop.
> 8) Some sort of house with a working
> toilet and shower on the =
> property =20
> somewhere -or- hookups for the motorhome.
>
> - You measure all family acquisitions in terms
> of the number of race =
> tires=20
> that could have been purchased.
>
> - You know well that Orthodontic work is the
> equivalent of three sets =
> of=20
> tires
>
> - You sit in your race car in a dark garage
> and make car noises and =
> shift=20
> and practice your heel and toe, while waiting
> for your motor to get back =
> from=20
> the machine shop.
>
> - You look at the purchase of tools as a long
> term investment.
>
> - Your wife says, "If you buy another set of
> tires, I'm getting a new =
> mink."
>
> - Your garage holds more cars than your house
> has bedrooms.
>
> - You have enough spare parts to build another
> car.
>
> - More than one racer supply house recognizes
> your voice and greets you =
> by=20
> name when you call.
>
> - You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
>
> - You think the last line of the Star Spangled
> Banner is: "Racers, =
> start=20
> your engines!"
>
> - If you can't remember when you last worked
> on weekdays and rested on=20
> weekends.
>
> - You're registered for wedding gifts at
> Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
>
> - Your Christmas list begins with another set
> of BFG R1's and Pauter =
> rods=20
> (and your 'significant other' knows what these
> are).
>
> - After your answer to "What did you do this
> weekend?" the next question =
> is=20
>
=== message truncated ===
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