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Rock Shop Humor No LSR

To: <land-speed@autox.team.net>
Subject: Rock Shop Humor No LSR
From: "Keith Turk" <kturk@ala.net>
Date: Sat, 7 Oct 2000 19:43:38 -0500
We ain't had the first laugh about the Fire suit for a couple of days so I
thought I would tell on myself yet again...

I own a Fake Rock company... Yeah I make Veneer Stone Products for the
building industry.... okay so it's concrete and gets poured in these Molds
and Vibrated... and it's in this Vibration that I found myself laughing
hysterically this afternoon....

The Original Goal was to vibrate a 2 foot wide 10 foot long Table.... and I
was trying to find a suitable Vibrator that didn't cost a Fortune....
well.... One of My Air Compressors died and I had the Brain Scheme to use
the Dead Compressor.... Bolted it to a Structure I welded up and stuck it
underneath this Roller table.... So you can see the Compressor with No
Pistons spinning around... with an electric Motor.... Well it needed to be
More off Balance... so I tied some weight to it one day... and boy did she
Vibrate.... Life was GOOD....

Bought the race car... and one of the Vibrator Welds Broke.... Okay.... Hmmm
Work on Race car... Replace Vibrator.... ( Yeah a New welded in Piece oughta
fix her up for a While....)

Broke the Race car Motor.... Vibrator Kicks one Rod out the Block... ( guess
I should have taken those out with the Pistons...) work on Race car Replace
Vibrator...... Ahhh the Vibrator still holds a Bit of Oil.... it'll be
fine.... Add Oil.... and Stick Two New Stick's of 1 1/2 " angle in to shore
her up....

Working on Car.... Compressor on the Vibrator Falls out the bottom of the
Metal Floor or it's cage.... Hmmm work on Car... or ... nevermind... weld
the plate back in.... add More Metal.... Get back to the car...

3 months later Electric Motor Dies.... Hmm Quick Fix... New Motor...
different mounting Points... No Problem More Metal... Different Plates...
Bigger Bolts... Work on Car....

5 months Later .... Second Rod goes.... What you think I was going to take
the time to take the other out.... if we had just put oil in it would have
been fine.... and I could still be working on the race car.... Here Break
that side out add some more oil.... I don't care if it slings alittle Get
back to work  boys... I gotta Race car to Build!!!!

Severl more temps along the way I won't bore you with... But Friday Chris
( My Son and Supervisor ) comes in and say... OKAY DAD.... That VIBRATOR
GETS FIXED... OR I GO!!!!.... Now wait a Minute... it works Just fine....
okay... take it off throw it in my Truck I will fix it at the house....

Got it home... Sitting there Looking at it.... Checking out the Two Plus
Years of Cobbled Repairs... and Decided Maybe I could Just stick a couple
More pieces Nahhh THIS THING IS DEAD.... Well Sorta... Gonna Have to patch
it till the Real Deal Gets here....  But I am thinking 3/4 quarters of an
inch clearance is a Bit Much for the Bearings.... and the Rods well... once
the went through the Block they were a Non issue... Oil.... WHO NEEDS
OIL.... it's only gotta last Two Days.... ProLong that's the answer... maybe
I can get another Week out of it....

and Miss Kathy is worried about the Lawn....

Keith ( I'll Fix it Later ) Turk


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