mgs
[Top] [All Lists]

Re: Nearly Off.......or Off'ly Near, Old Chap!

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: Re: Nearly Off.......or Off'ly Near, Old Chap!
From: Chip Old <fold@mail.bcpl.lib.md.us>
Date: Tue, 3 Oct 1995 22:35:26 -0400 (EDT)
On Tue, 3 Oct 1995, W. Ray Gibbons wrote:

> To be serious for a minute, I think offside and nearside became synonymous
> with right and left before cars were invented, so nearside is left and
> offside right regardless of which side the steering wheel is on.  
> 
> (Serious mode off)
 
That was mercifully short.  Now on to the _real_ Ray Gibbons...
 
> Besides, if it were not so, british parts books would
> become impossibly complicated.  All sided parts would have to come in RHD
> and LHD versions.  Instead of just O/S and N/S front fenders, you would
> have O/S RHD and O/S LHD, as well as N/S RHD and N/S LHD.  If they had
> done things THAT way, the british auto industry would have gone into
> a steep decline. 
 
And as we all know, thanks to the superb control of the parts situation
afforded by the early adoption of the industry-standard "nearly offsided
and awfully nearsighted" inventory control scheme, the British automotive
industry continues to dominate the market. 
 
> As far as why the brits drive on the left side of the road, well it is
> simple.  Has nothing to do with swords and shields.  Just ask youself
> this:  you are riding your horse on the M4 when he pulls up lame.  You
> pull off the road, and dismount from the horse on the nearside (left).  If
> traffic drove on the right, you would be getting off in the path of
> traffic.  That's why we cannot allow horses on our interstates--we drive
> on the wrong side. 
 
So that's why the cop gave me a ticket the other day for riding my horse 
down the fast lane of I-695.  He was screaming and yelling so much 
that I didn't understand half of what he said.  I thought it was because 
the horse dumped on the hood of the car behind me.  Served him right for 
tailgating, even if it was the cop's car...
 
> Does that clear everything up?
 
Definitely, Ray, definitely...
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chip Old                      1948 M.G. TC  TC6710  NEMGTR #2271
Cub Hill, Maryland            1962 Triumph TR4  CT3154LO (daily driver)
fold@mail.bcpl.lib.md.us
 
If cars had evolved as fast as computers have, by now they'd cost a
quarter, run for a year on a half-gallon of gas, and explode once a day. 


<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>