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smoke transusion part II

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: smoke transusion part II
From: WatsoWolf@aol.com
Date: Fri, 29 Dec 1995 22:26:56 -0500
No I haven't fallen off the face of terra firma...
     If midget harnesses are like '75 B's then all the wires that connect to
the various malfunctions you describe all originate in one spot, all you have
to do is find it!  Seriously, the green wires (and green w/
white/red/purple/black, etc) all are interconnected like a knitted vest.
Check all your connections for CRUD, take them apart and clean them with a
piece of emery paper on a stick. On a B the taillights are on their own fuse
with red wires BUT the power to that fuse comes from TA-DA a green/red wire.
To make it even more fun the hazard flasher switch is in the circuit too and
if it gets gunky aint nothing gonna work.
      How does a soon to be single 40-something grey headed presbyopic
druggist know so much about MG wyres (if tires can be tyres then wires can be
wyres-- and fwd is 4 or front wire(wyre) drive)?  If you missed part I,
basically I am the proud owner of the Three Mile Island of MG's. Shortly
after driving through hurricaine Erin to get to work {Our Slogan - "We do
more drugs by 9 AM than you do all day"} The B , a model designation not a
name, turned all the pretty color wires to a nice chocolate brown while
sitting unattended in the car park. It now has a new wiring harness,
alternator, coil, starter relay, starter solenoid, sparking plugs and wires,
distributor cap, headlights, side marker lights, and other bits. 
     The procedure for this is simple:  1. Get the car towed home, by a bunch
of well meaning morons who think the taillight lenses are good for pushing
against. 2. Get out every tool you own.  3. Go buy more tools.  4. Get your
tools back from the OINK (Obnoxius Inquisitive Neighbor Kid) who ran off with
them to play in the sand at the lake shore.  5. Order parts.  6. Order parts.
 7. Order parts.  8. When all parts are in hand begin dissassembly of old
harness carefully documenting with tags, videos and still photos where the
connections were, and what they were hooked to.  9. Order more parts. 10. Be
sure to totally alienate your spouse and move out of the house early in the
project, it makes visiting the MG while she is at work so much more
"naughty". 11. Finally after months of frustration and delay and using
various MG parts for a holiday centerpiece in your lovely 9 x 14 room
(singular) the great day arrives when you turn on the new battery isolater
switch (Walmart $8 not the $50 one from Moss ** standard diclaimers re
financial interest in Walmart **) and turn the ignition key and...

Nothing happens.

Enlisting the aid of the OINK, and making sure he can't get the soldering
iron anywhere near the once pristine rear window in the once untattered cloth
top (hood) you again check every connection, every grounding wire, every
component. This is very fruitful, as you had hooked up the brake light switch
to the fuel gauge, a novel way of filling the tank, and the new harness and
old bits that remain of the old one need much careful introduction and
prolonged courting before actually mating. Add lots of ground wires,
especially headlights and other large current users. A whole new ground strap
from block to firewall is a good idea too. 
 At last the second great day has arrived. You take your position, turn on
the battery, turn the key, and ...
Click!
The starter solenoid does need to be looked at inside. It can be fine on the
external, but a lump of mush inside.
Alright  Third times a charm, turn the key...
Fuel pump clicking, lights lit, gauges moving, ENGINE TURNING...

and turning and turning and turning.

NO SPARK. SH*T!
The only electrical component left in the engine compartment that you haven't
redone is... (20 points for a quick answer)

The Distributor amplifier module.  
12. Order parts...
Happy New Year
I'm appointing myself Royal Food Taster for the High Priestess.
Ralph Watson
WatsoWolf@aol.com
'75 B roadster with an anelectric personality



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