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Re: Damn Cats!....and hogs!....and deer!!!

To: <mgs%autox.team.net@MV.Unisys.COM>
Subject: Re: Damn Cats!....and hogs!....and deer!!!
From: TUSLER%MP050@MPA15AB.MV.UNISYS.COM
Date: 21 OCT 96 08:37
>Maybe you should try those high pitched reeds, that only animals
 can hear (?), and attach them to your front bumper. Do these things
<really work?

 Of course they do!  The company has made a FORTUNE selling those things!
There's one born every minute, you know....

  *Oh*  Did you mean "Do they work on the DEER?"!  Well, yes.  But first
you have to spend some time training the deer to recognize that if they
hear something that the driver doesn't, that's a signal to exit the
roadway.  First you capture all the deer in the area.  Then you put each
one in the roadway.  Then you have a friend drive down at high speed
with those little whistles attached to the fender.  When you hear him
coming, toss some deer food (Ding-dongs and Ho-Hos work, but don't let
the environmentalists catch you addicting deer to junk food) off to the
side, luring the deer off the road.  If that doesn't work, open a jar of
Kim Chee.  This is riskier.  Although it is guaranteed to drive off every
deer within miles, it will also draw every bear within miles, who will
then try to get the jar away from you to put the lid back on.
  Of course, the only problem with this process is that you cannot hear
the whistles welded to the bumper, and will get run over waiting for
your friend. This will upset the deer so much that they will learn to avoid
whistles no one can hear.  Of course, the bears will learn to come
running....
************************************************************************
*Philippe Tusler - Mission Viejo, CA     | "MILOU"    '57 MGA Roadster *
*A-Mail:   <TUSLER@MP050>                | "TINTIN"   '66 MG/MGB-GT    *
*InterNet: TUSLER@MP050.MV.unisys.com    | "N/A"      '88 ISUZU Trooper*
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