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Indy Driving Rules

To: "Datsun Roadster List" <datsun-roadsters@autox.team.net>
Subject: Indy Driving Rules
From: "datsunmike" <datsunmike@nyc.rr.com>
Date: Fri, 1 Sep 2000 16:40:25 -0400
Sounds like NY if you ask me.

> -----Original Message-----

> >>   Indianapolis Driving Rules (Or, not all Indy, NASCAR and Formula One
> >> > races
> >> > are at the track)
> >> >
> >> >  1. A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many
> >> > people
> >> > can cut in line by passing you
> >> >     on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same
> >> drivers
> >> > to
> >> > squeeze their way back in before
> >> >     hitting the orange construction barrels.
> >> >
> >> >  2. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Indianapolis
> >> driver
> >> > never uses them. Use of them in
> >> >      Castleton may be illegal.
> >> >
> >> >  3. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between
you
> >> > and
> >> > the car in front of you, or the
> >> >      space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even
> >> more
> >> > dangerous situation.
> >> >
> >> >  4. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered
> >> > "going
> >> > with the flow."
> >> >
> >> >  5. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance
> you
> >> > have of getting hit.
> >> >
> >> >  6. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork.
> >> >
> >> >  7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that
> >> your
> >> > ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing
> >> >     foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you
without
> >> > ABS,
> >> > it's a chance to stretch your legs.
> >> >
> >> >  8. Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately after
> >> you
> >> > pass the last exit before the backup.
> >> >
> >> >  9. Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide useful
> >> > information. They are only there to make Indianapolis
> >> >     look high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the state police
> >> radar
> >> > car parked on the median.
> >> >
> >> >  10. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
> >> >
> >> >  11. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions,
and
> >> > are
> >> > apparently not enforceable during rush hour.
> >> >
> >> >  12. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed
up
> >> or
> >> > move over doesn't mean that an Indianapolis
> >> >       driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can
go
> >> > faster in your spot.
> >> >
> >> >  13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or
even
> >> if
> >> > someone is just changing a tire.
> >> >
> >> >  14. Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and
gives
> >> > Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.
> >> >
> >> >  15. It is assumed that state police cars passing at high speed may
be
> >> > followed in the event you need to make up
> >> >       a few minutes on your way to work.
> >> >
> >> >  16. Learn to swerve abruptly. Indianapolis is the home of high-speed
> >> > slalom
> >> > driving thanks to potholes.
> >> >
> >> >  17. It is traditional in Indianapolis to honk your horn at cars that
> >> > don't
> >> > move the instant the light changes.
> >> >
> >> >  18. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of
way,
> >> > except in Speedway, where it acts as an
> >> >       invitation to duel or play chicken.
> >> >
> >> >  19. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and
left
> >> > before proceeding. In Indianapolis it is common
> >> >        to stop and then decide which direction to turn.
> >> >
> >> >  20. Remember that the goal of every Indianapolis driver is to get
> there
> >> > first, by whatever means necessary.
> >> >
> >> >  21. Real Indianapolis female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye
> >> > makeup, and balance the checkbook at
> >> >       seventy-five miles per hour during a snowstorm in
> bumper-to-bumper
> >> > traffic.
> >> >
> >> >  22. Real Indianapolis male drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at
> >> > seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper
> >> >       traffic during daylight hours (who would want to at night?).
> >> >
> >> >  23. Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of
the
> >> > previously listed rules. These weather
> >> >       conditions are God's way of ensuring a natural selection
process
> >> for
> >> > body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.
> >>
>


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