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## No LBC Content -"Moron test" - humor

 To: mgs@autox.team.net No LBC Content -"Moron test" - humor Florrie & Allen Bachelder Sat, 8 May 1999 12:29:05 -0400
 >>>This is the Official Moron Test. Answer the following 13 >>>questions, then scroll down and check your answers. DON'T CHEAT! >>> >>>Try to finish within 5 minutes. When you are done, count the number >>>correct and see how you compare to others. OK, here goes... >>> >>> 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no? >>> >>> 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? >>> >>> 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? >>> >>> 4. How many outs are there in an inning? >>> >>> 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister. >>> >>> 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do >>> you get? >>> >>> 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are >>> you left with? >>> >>> 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every >>> half an hour. How long will the pills last? >>> >>> 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep >>> are left? >>> >>>10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark? >>> >>>11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh? >>> >>>12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? >>> >>>13. What was the President's name in 1960? >>> >>> >>> >>> ***NO CHEATING*** >>> >>> >>> >>> >>>So how do you think you did? Here are the answers.... >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No? >>> Yes. It comes right after the 3rd. >>> >>> 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? >>> One (1). You can only be born once. >>> >>> 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? >>> Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days. >>> >>> 4. How many outs are there in an inning? >>> Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to >>> every inning. >>> >>> 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his >>> widow's sister? >>> No. He must be dead if it is his widow. >>> >>> 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. >>> What do you get? >>> Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60. >>> >>> 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples >>> are you left with? >>> Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO apples. >>> >>> 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every >>> half and hour. How long will the pills last? >>> One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at >>> 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only >>> one hour has passed. >>> >>> 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep >>> are left? >>> Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die. >>> >>>10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark? >>> None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark. >>> >>>11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh? >>> Meat...that is self-explanatory. >>> >>>12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? >>> Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? TWELVE...it's a dozen. >>> >>>13. What was the President's name in 1960? >>> Bill Clinton. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name. >>> >>> >>>So, how did you do? >>> >>> 13 correct...........GENIUS...you are good. >>>10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head. >>> 7- 9 correct..........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average? >>> 4- 6 correct.............SLOW...pay attention to the questions! >>> 1- 3 correct............IDIOT...what else can be said? >>> 0 correct..CONGRATULATIONS...you are a Certified MORON! >>> >> > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Allen H. Bachelder > Associate Professor of Trumpet =iii=< > Phone: 540/231-6713 > Fax: 540/231-5034 > Department of Music, Box 0240 > Virginia Tech > Blacksburg, VA 24061 > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > ****************************************** Allen H. Bachelder =iii=< Sinking Creek Home for Wayward MGs New Castle, VA 24127 USA 540/544-7333 ******************************************
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