I think Christmas is the ultimate LBC holiday- it would certainly appear
from my vantage point, that the ever faithful Mr Lucas had a hand in the
design of the @%^^##&@*!@ lights for the tree. Is there a law of nature
that the light string tested and working will cease working when put on the
tree? And who ever conceptualized the idea of 250 miniature lights, any of
which may at any time decide to cease operations forthwith, and then connect
them in SERIES! Not to mention designing them in such a way that light bases
from one set might be 1/10000th of an inch (Whitworth?) bigger or smaller
than the ones they must replace, therefore not fitting, and of course they
are the only option, as you have no other lights in the house, and all the
stores are closed except for the speedy market, which naturally has NO
lights in stock. So now the lights are on the tree, only half are working,
so there is a big band of darkness in the middle. All the bulbs have been
jiggled, pulled, prodded, tested, inspected, replaced, jiggled again,
tapped, beaten, yelled at, and shaken. The little fuse in the plug has
been taken out, looked at, head scratched over, and put back. The dog has
gone over to the tree, looked at the lights, barked at it, barked at me,
bitten me, been put outside for biting me, brought in, and has pissed on the
tree. The lights come on now. I should have thought of that.
Merry Christmas to all, and remember- Egg Nog doesn't kill people, LIGHTS
kill people...
Scott
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