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friday funny

To: "healey list" <healeys@autox.team.net>
Subject: friday funny
From: "Mr. Finespanner" <mrfinespanner@earthlink.net>
Date: Fri, 8 Apr 2005 07:08:03 -0500
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad
news is that it will require castration.  You have a very rare condition
which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates
one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove
the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was
without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was
missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different
person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's
clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."  He entered
the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new
shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed
Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised,
"That's right, how did you know?"  "Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in
the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"  Joe was on a roll
and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2
E."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they
fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman
asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said,
"Sure."  The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's
see...size 36."

Joe laughed "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would
press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell
of a headache."




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