On 11/8/97 2:06 PM so and so Syd Saperstein said. (And I quote)
Where can I get them???
I need Lucas Lucasier now??
Testimony to follow after use!!
Larry
>I do believe that the MG marketplace has been opened up to a whole new line
>of concept products that I will be exploiting soon enough. The only thing
>that held us back was that the MG mind was not ready for the concept. Water
>Wetter has blazed a new trail in auto-land; A paradigm shift in market
>place opportunities for the innovative! My line will include a whole line
>of "er" and "ier" products. The following is a short list of the things we
>here at ER, Inc. will be offering soon. Not only will this list stimulate
>17,000 threads of useless information, but will revive the now sorely
>misssed cyber-debate on the proper use of lists and profiteering!
>
>1. Oil Oilier - It's just oilier than oil. You add it to your oil and it
>gets oilier. Now, if oily is good it stands to reason that oilier has to
>be better! This miracle product doesn't just reduce surface tension to put
>oil molecules into intimate contact with metal, It actually rams the
>molecules there similar to how a rush hour Japan subway pusher operates.
>
>2. Slick 50 Slicker. - Not for the faint of heart! If you loved Oil Oilier,
>you are bound to be swept off your feet by slick slicker. It is so slick
>that we could not use conventional containers to hold the stuff in. It
>just slipped away! This product is held in place by force fields! We will
>be selling our patented Force Field 2000 soon so you can contail our
>products at home.
>
>3. Grease Greasier 2000 - A new product for the next millenium! It's like
>concentrated Oil Oilier in a tube! It has the remarkable space age
>technology of our Oil Oilier, but now comes in a thicker form - so thick
>that we have to call it the greasiest grease known to modern man. Just one
>shot of Grease Greasier in your zerk nipples and you'll be slippin and
>slidin' all over the place. And think of the joy you'll get as you slide
>that grease fitting onto that nipple and feed those dried up joints with
>this stimulating, life giving formula.
>
>4. Lucas Lucaser - Electron Accelerator. You think your lights are bright,
>now? You satisfied with that dated dull tick, tick, tick of your fuel
>pump? I would think not. Now with this new product, based on the proven
>abilities of Oil Oilier, your electron flow is so fast that everything it
>touches will get electron transfer at even faster SUPERCHARGED rates. Up
>till now, you had to put up with electron flow that would simply not move
>faster than the speed of light. But our Lucas Lucasier enables electron to
>become super lubricated along the same lines as our other tested products,
>and those little charged buggers actually break the light barrier. The
>result? Your clock actually spins BACKWARDS, your gas tank overflows and
>you lose 3 months of age with each MG tour you go on, and your car returns
>to the drawing board at Abingdon!. You've learned the importance of
>lubrication to moving metal parts, just imagine what it can do for
>electricity.
>
>Stay tuned for more breakthrough products from us here at ER, inc. We are
>constantly striving to make your life better and more fulfilled through
>research carefully conducted by me and my dog. We have harnessed the super
>lubricating qualities of snail slime extract and put it to work with modern
>plasma technology to slip you the big one in lubrication. Our next
>generation of products will focus on ageing wrinkling and drying of all
>kinds!
>
>On the Drawing Board: MG MGER. It makes cute cars just too damn cute.
>
>DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT EXPERIMENT BY COMBINING ANY ER, INC PRODUCTS ON
>YOUR OWN. YOU MAY HAVE DIFFICULTY OBTAINING THE MINIMUM NECESSARY FRICTION
>TO PERFORM MOST COMMON TASKS. SPILLING ANY ER, INC PRODUCT ON A NUT OR
>BOLT WILL MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU TO GET A GRIP ON EVEN WITH ROBO TOOLS.
>
>
>TTFN
>TCSYD
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