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Technical terminology-- probably not LBC contented

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Technical terminology-- probably not LBC contented
Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 10:28:48 -0400
Rings pretty true to me!
 
WORDS WOMEN USE 

FINE 

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right
and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks -
this will cause you to have one of those arguments. 

FIVE MINUTES 

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an
even trade. 

NOTHING
 
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out,
upside down, and backwards. 'Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "Five Minutes" and end with 'Fine'. 

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) 

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing"
and will end with the word "Fine".  
 
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) 

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will
get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing"
and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools
off. 

LOUD SIGH 

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at
that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing". 

SOFT SIGH 

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is
content. 
Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content. 

THAT'S OKAY 

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you
back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with
the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow. 

GO AHEAD 

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big
trouble. 

PLEASE DO 

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is
that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and
you shouldn't get a "That's Okay". 

THANKS 

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. 

THANKS A LOT 

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when
she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh."  Be careful not
to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing". 

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology. 

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