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Laws of the natural universe - Last attempt

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Laws of the natural universe - Last attempt
From: Dave Yealy <lbc@littlebitcountry.com>
Date: Wed, 04 Apr 2007 08:42:36 -0400
LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE



Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to 
itch or you'll have to pee.



Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the 
stupidity of your act.



Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.



Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat 
tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will 
start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).



Law of the Bath :

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.



Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are 
with someone you don't want to be seen with.



Law of the Result:

When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.



Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.



Law of Coffee:

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask 
you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



Law of Rugs/Carpets:

The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a 
floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the 
carpet/rug.



Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are.



Law of Logical Argument: (my personal favorite) Anything is possible 
if you don't know what you are talking about.



Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.



Oliver's Law:

A closed mouth gathers no feet.



Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it




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