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redneck medical terms

To: "Thickos" <team-thicko@autox.team.net>
Subject: redneck medical terms
From: "Wm. Severin Thompson" <wsthompson@thicko.com>
Date: Fri, 5 Nov 1999 13:24:52 -0600
REDNECK MEDICAL TERMS
> >> > > >
> >> > > > Benign.........................What you be after you be eight.
> >> > > > Artery..........................The study of paintings.
> >> > > > Bacteria.......................Back door to cafeteria.
> >> > > > Barium.........................What doctors do when patients die.
> >> > > > Cesarean Section........A neighborhood in Rome.
> >> > > > CAT Scan....................Searching for Kitty.
> >> > > > Cauterize.....................Made eye contact with her.
> >> > > > Coma...........................A punctuation mark.
> >> > > > D&C.............................Where Washington is.
> >> > > > Dilate...........................To live long.
> >> > > > Enema.........................Not a friend.
> >> > > > Fester..........................Quicker than someone else.
> >> > > > Fibula..........................A small lie.
> >> > > > Genital.........................Non-Jewish person.
> >> > > > G. I. Series..................World Series of military baseball.
> >> > > > Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.
> >> > > > Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known.
> >> > > > Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work.
> >> > > > Medical Staff................A Doctor's cane.
> >> > > > Morbid..........................A higher offer than I bid.
> >> > > > Nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates.
> >> > > > Node............................Something ya knew all along.
> >> > > > Outpatient....................A person who has fainted.
> >> > > > Pap Smear...................A slur against yer Daddy's honor.
> >> > > > Pelvis...........................Second cousin to Elvis.
> >> > > > Post Operative.............A letter carrier.
> >> > > > Recovery Room...........Place to do re-upholstery.
> >> > > > Rectum.......................  Damn near totaled the pick-up.
> >> > > > Secretion....................  Hiding something.
> >> > > > Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
> >> > > > Tablet...........................A small table.
> >> > > > Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport.
> >> > > > Tumor..........................More than one.
> >> > > > Urine............................Opposite of "yer out."
> >> > > > Varicose.......................Near by/close by.


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