I found this in one of my magazines and for me it sumarises English
autoelectrics (apologies to those who have seen it before)
"Forget all that nonsense about magnetic fields and the flow of
electrons along a conductor, for it is just that- nonsense- a myth put
about by the auto electricians to support their lavish life style at our
expense. The reality is smoke! When you think about it it all becomes
startingly obvious-smoke makes all electrical things function. if the
smoke escapes the component stops working. For example the last time you
had to grovel under your car to replace the starter motor, didn't it
start smoking before it ceased working? Of course!
The wiring loom carries smoke from one component to another, pumped
around the system by the dynamo, and when a wire springs a leak it lets
all the smoke out and everything stops. The starter motor requires a
lot of smoke to work and hence it has a very thick wire going to it. The
battery stores smoke dissolved in the battery acid, which is why they
used to be called accumulators, until it became apparent that we
unwashed home mechanics would twig the secret. Naturally if you try and
dissolve too much smoke in the battery it will escape through those
holes in the top. This is why those new fangled batteries with sealed
tops explode when they get to much smoke in them.
Why do British components leak more than others. Because British things
always leak. British engines leak oil, British sportscars leak rain;
British hydrolastic units leak fluid and British governments leak
military secrets. So naturally British electrical components leak smoke"
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b30 : Tue Sep 05 2000 - 09:41:50 CDT