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PURPLE ALERT!

To: "Joe Amo" <jkamo@rapidnet.com>, <FastmetalBDF@aol.com>
Subject: PURPLE ALERT!
From: "\"LandSpeed\" Louise Ann Noeth" <lanspeed@west.net>
Date: Sat, 2 Dec 2000 11:06:15 -0800
NOTICE


K. Turk, noted southern child of whirling lift and rock stocker has
agreed to enter the 1st Annual Hydrazine Juggling Contest and
Precision Chainsaw Bolo-Style Recital to be held as part of the
upcoming Presidential Inauguration.

Turk was the unquestioned favorite in a surprise bi-partisan show of
unity. "We are humbled by Mr. Turk's acceptance of our invitation to
perform," said the jointly issued press release moved at lightening
quick pace over the AP wire news network, "If he is so kind to honor
us by performing in his famous purple and mustard
anatomically-enhancing spandex jumpsuit we are sure that the national
inductions and grousing would enjoy a miraculous paradigm resulting in
a period of unfrequented cooperation."

The release ended by stating, "We look forward to day and wish Mr.
Turk and his rock-solid veneer family a very happy holiday season."

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