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Re: What I learned today...

To: "Clay, Dale" <Dale.Clay@mdhelicopters.com>, <Nt788@aol.com>,
Subject: Re: What I learned today...
From: "glen barrett" <speedtimer@charter.net>
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2002 12:19:10 -0800
You think this is the reason Keith only drinks diet cola. Funny story,thanks
for the laugh.
Glen
----- Original Message -----
From: "Clay, Dale" <Dale.Clay@mdhelicopters.com>
To: <Nt788@aol.com>; <land-speed@autox.team.net>; <MICHAEL_BIVER@udlp.com>;
<JimMurphyMurf@aol.com>; <nfox4473@postoffice.pacbell.net>;
<pat350@hotmail.com>; <RPETTITinAPACHE@webtv.net>; <NORM_RYAN@udlp.com>;
<sera14@pacbell.net>; <mikej@speedrecordclub.softnet.co.uk>; "Ugo Fadini"
<ugo@ugofadini.com>; <unclelouie@email.msn.com>
Sent: Thursday, February 07, 2002 11:48 AM
Subject: RE: What I learned today...


> Oh, man, that was too funny.  Nearly blew my drink through
> my nose!   Thanks for the laugh.
>
> Dale C.  :-)
>
> i felt hot rodders were pretty high on the food chain, but
> stuff like this is all to common for me.
> henry
> > Subject: What I learned today...
> >
> > Hi guys,
> >
> > Last weekend I spent two days wrestling with my
> > GT-350 replica, which you may
> > recall is now running after a one-year period of
> > dormancy while the motor was
> > in pieces.  While dealing with some subsequent
> > problems, I learned some
> > lessons that can all be directly applied to
> working
> > on our cars.
> >
> > *  Upon startup of a new engine, if you hear a
> > distinctive tic-tic-tic sound
> > from your header-to-cylinder head junction, you
> will
> > be told by all your
> > friends that it is an exhaust leak caused by using
> > the cheap manifold gaskets
> > which come as part of the entire engine-overhaul
> > gasket set, and you should
> > have opted for high-quality $35 Fel-Pro header
> > gaskets instead.  The only
> > solution is to remove and replace the lame gasket
> > with a quality unit.
> >
> > *  The header bolts which didn_t allow enough
> > clearance to get a wrench or
> > socket on them when you were installing them,
> > haven_t shrunk any, so removing
> > the eight bolts will take an hour.
> >
> > *  Your hopes of simply backing the header away
> from
> > the head, slipping the
> > two-week-old, cheap gasket out and installing the
> > new, $35 gasket will be
> > dashed when you realize the existing gasket has
> > adhesed itself firmly to the
> > head.  It will need to be scraped off.
> >
> > *  Immediately after commencing the scraping
> > activities, you will be struck
> > with both a revelation and a recollection.  The
> > revelation is that the
> > header-to-fenderwell interference won_t allow you
> > enough clearance to scrape
> > the entire gasket, so the header will have to
> > completely come off the car.
> > The recollection will be that you were smart
> enough
> > to trash the cheap gasket
> > that came with the engine rebuilder kit, and the
> $35
> > Mr. Gasket like-new
> > gasket you forgot you had installed, and have now
> > just destroyed, is of
> > similar quality to the new $35 Fel-Pro gasket you
> > bought to replace it.
> >
> > *  Spray-on gasket remover is highly effective
> > stuff, but it is also highly
> > democratic in its application.  In this instance,
> it
> > will make no
> > differentiation whatsoever between the like-new
> $35
> > gasket you_re trying to
> > remove, and the new Ford blue engine paint you_re
> > not trying to remove-both
> > will fall away from the motor in equal amounts.
> >
> > *  In order to remove the header so you can scrape
> > the gasket, you will have
> > to disconnect it from the collector.  The
> collector
> > bolts which were too long
> > when you installed them have, like the header
> bolts,
> > failed to shrink any in
> > the ensuing two weeks, and the mechanical locking
> > nuts (stove nuts) have, if
> > anything, increased their tenacious grip upon the
> > too-long bolts.
> > Furthermore, the inadequate clearance to swing a
> > wrench hasn_t grown any
> > either, meaning that you will be able to turn the
> > nut about 1/32nd of a
> > revolution before the wrench strikes something
> > solid, and needs to be removed
> > and flipped around for another swing.  The upshot
> is
> > that it will take about
> > 15-20 minutes to remove each bolt.
> >
> > *  After the header is finally removed, while
> lying
> > underneath the car and
> > scraping the gasket, when a piece of
> > gasket-remover-laden gasket falls onto
> > your forehead, you will instantly determine that
> the
> > democratic nature of the
> > gasket remover extends to human flesh as well, and
> > the forehead is
> > particularly sensitive to extremely caustic
> > chemicals.
> >
> > *  When extremely caustic chemicals are suddenly
> > applied to a large section
> > of your forehead, the result is an instant and
> > involuntary muscle contraction
> > in the torso, causing you to suddenly sit up,
> > normally about 24 inches or so.
> >
> > *  The average Mustang chassis, when raised on
> > jackstands, is approximately
> > 22 inches off the garage floor.
> >
> > *  The sudden and violent application of 2900
> pounds
> > of steel to a burning
> > forehead does not, surprisingly, lessen the effect
> > of the extremely caustic
> > chemical reaction taking place, but instead
> augments
> > the pain with a deep
> > pounding inside the skull as your brain takes a
> good
> > shellacking from the
> > inside.
> >
> > *  When it comes time to open the exhaust gasket
> > package, the expeditious way
> > is to use a screwdriver to make a small tear in
> the
> > plastic, then run your
> > finger along the underside of the gasket, neatly
> > opening up the package from
> > one end to the other.
> >
> > *  Exhaust gaskets are made of various layers of
> > fibers and steel, and as
> > you_re opening the package, an exposed and sharp
> > steel wire will neatly open
> > up your finger from one end to the other.
> >
> > *  1966 Mustang Red and Human Blood Red are
> > remarkably alike when the blood
> > is wet and liberally sprayed across the top of the
> > fender.  However, when it
> > dries it darkens considerably and thus can_t be
> used
> > as touch-up paint as you
> > had perhaps hoped.
> >
> > *  Gasket remover is remarkably resilient stuff,
> and
> > although you took great
> > pains to wipe down the cylinder head with lacquer
> > thinner before installing
> > your new gasket, the forgotten gasket remover
> still
> > coating the flange of the
> > header will immediately go to work the minute the
> > header is placed against
> > the gasket.  Fortunately the gasket makers are
> > thoughtful enough to include a
> > pair of gaskets in each package for just such
> > contingencies.
> >
> > *  As you are holding the gasket-remover-soaked
> > header in your hand and
> > removing your now-ruined new gasket, you will feel
> > that the skin on your
> > fingers isn_t nearly as sensitive to the effects
> of
> > extremely caustic
> > chemicals as the skin on your forehead.  However,
> > when you have sliced your
> > finger open and the gasket remover gets in the
> open
> > wound, the effect is much
> > the same.
> >
> > *  Once the second new gasket is in place, the
> > header bolts and
> > header-to-collector bolts will be just as
> difficult
> > to install as they were
> > to remove, as they were to install the first time,
> > as they were to remove the
> > first time.
> >
> > But the final, and undoubtedly the most important
> > lesson learned from this
> > two-day exercise is this:
> >
> > *  A clever engine-building trick is to loosely
> > install the spark plugs on a
> > new motor; if the head gasket leaks into the
> > cylinders, this will allow the
> > water to leak and spray past the threads on
> startup
> > instead of potentially
> > blowing up the motor with hydrostatic lock.
> > However, if the engine builder
> > then forgets to tighten the plugs once the engine
> > has successfully started,
> > then exhaust gasses may leak past the threads,
> > making a distinctive
> > tic-tic-tic sound from the neighborhood of your
> > header-to-cylinder head
> > junction.  You will be told by all your friends
> that
> > it is an exhaust leak
> > caused by using the cheap manifold gaskets which
> > come as part of the entire
> > engine-overhaul gasket set, and you should have
> > opted for high-quality $35
> > Fel-Pro header gaskets instead, and you will spend
> > the next two days removing
> > and replacing a perfectly good exhaust gasket when
> > all you had to do was
> > simply tighten the spark plugs!
> >
> > Sigh.....

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