Earlier on today I went to the first MG meet of the year here in Weybridge,
just outside London ..............this a light hearted
observation..........how do MG meets compare in the USA?
As old fartdom begins to take over (by this time you will be well and truely
accepted by the AH Club & MGCC ) you will scowl and totally ignore new young
members to the club (young = under 55), MGOC fleece jackets will definately
be a no no. You will have to take on a damp old leather smell (a bit of body
odour and stale tobacco helps) - you know that smell you get inside a damp
old VA Tickford or Y Type
You must never go to the dentist - the browner the teeth the more cred you
will have within the 'T Register' - maybe tannin stains?
Always drink ale from a pint jug.
Half moon reading spectacles on a chain look good even if they serve no
practical function. Alway use them examining the engine bay of a new younger
members MG saying something like............"Of course in my day one
would............".
ladies need to have some involvement with horses - if they start to look
like a horse even better. If they are 'into MGs' they must have one of those
Austalian outback hats with something like a Nepal to Reikavik Rally 1978
badge on it. A big smile with very red cheeks and a loud voice helps.
When down the pub natter scratch your bum as you wink at the bar maid (who
is old enough to be your grandaughter) and order another pint with whiskey
depth-charge at you local natter.
Try to marry within the family, first cousins are a favourite, this way you
can keep those prominent front teeth which go so well with the Barbour when
you are standing next to the Range Rover. They also look mighty fine if
complimented with a red silk neckacheaf when sitting in the 3000.
Smoke a fine small cigar, monster cigars are a no no, they are the domain of
East End gansters, Americans and scrap metal merchants.
When on the loo (don't wash your hands after, you will wash away that fine
touch you have for tuning SU carbs ) practice singing in as deep a note as
you can. If you do this enough you will develop vocal cords that 'boom' out
above all others at your natter.
Tell every body about the family connection with 'ol Cecil K - how you
vagely remember going in the back of his prewar MG when he used to make
visits to the 'family seat'
At your MG natter......................
You need to say things like "So what do you do for a living?" and "Don't
you kow" - the more affected the voice the better. If you refer to kids (not
that you will have to) they must be called ..........
Emma
Gemma
Claudia
Caroline
Jamie
Henry
The 'girls' are at finishing school in Switzerland
The 'boys' are at 'Uni' learing law so one day they can keep Mummy & Daddy
in the style they have become (or are pretending to) accustomed to.
Always refer to the parents as Mummy & Daddy.
All in the best possible taste and no offence meant to any old farts on this
list.
Happy new year...........
Chris
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