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Fwd: 35 Fun Things to do When Driving

To: "MG List" <>, "Spridgets" <>
Subject: Fwd: 35 Fun Things to do When Driving
From: Larry Macy <>
Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 06:39:34 -0400
Thought all might like this - sorry if you got before


Happy weekend 
 35 Fun Things to do When Driving
   1. Have a friend ride in the back seat.  Gagged.
   2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio.  Headbang.
   3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
   4. Two words: Chicken suit.
   5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. 
      The more it looks like blood, the better.
   6. Pay the toll for the car behind you.  Watch in rearview
      mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
   7. Laugh.  Laugh a lot.  A whooooole lot.
   8. Stop at the green lights.
   9. Go at the red ones.
 10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out 
      your window or sunroof.  Feel free to make it dance.
 11. Eat food that requires silverware.
 12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put 
      sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
 13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. 
      With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
 14. Honk frequently without motivation.
 15. Wave at people often.  If they wave back, offer an offended 
      and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
 16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
 17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
 18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
 19. Restart your car at every stop light.
 20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror.  Talk 
      to them, stroking them lovingly.
 21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their 
      butts out the window.
 22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
 23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
 24. If an firetruck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the 
      roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
 25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
 26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger 
      seat, when driving alone.
 27. Stop and collect roadkill.
 28. Stop and pray for roadkill.
 29. Stop and cook roadkill.  (If in Tennessee.)
 30. Throw Spam.  Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
 31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to...
      a stop.  Then get out and watch the cars. 
 32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
 33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're
      in.  When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at
      your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
 34. Sing without having the radio on.
 35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you,
      then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...

Larry Macy
78 Midget

Keep your top down and your chin up.

Larry B. Macy, Ph.D.
System Manager/Administrator
Neuropsychiatry Section
Department of Psychiatry
University of Pennsylvania
3400 Spruce St. - 10 Gates
Philadelphia, PA 19104

In a world without walls or fences, what use do we have for windows or 

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