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Things I learnt in Texas

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Things I learnt in Texas
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 17:41:12 -0500 (EST)
In no particular order, and based on the Austin to Houston experiences of a New 
Yorker only.

Flame suit on....  (all in jest) ->  <grin>

1)  Plenty of steers, but only met one queer.
2)  Ford meets their sales quota for pickups in Texas.  
     Everyone has either an F150, or an F350 Dually.  
     No-one has the F250.   Chevrolet and GMC owners are 
     outcasts.
3)  Didn't see any gunracks in Austin, Houston, or the drive 
    in between.
4)  Even Grandma drives a dually pickup with a 30 foot horse
    trailer at 75mph in Texas.
5)  McDonalds must be the official state restaurant.
6)  Texas has great f#$king beef ribs, even in the crappy places.
7)  I didn't know trailer homes/parks could be so nice.
8)  A 50X50 yard is more than sufficient for 2 cows. They are
    natural lawn mowers, and you can apparently sell the 
    fertilizer.
9)  The only handguns I saw were owned by "tha law", and were
    pistols, not revolvers.
10) Tex-centric aught to be a word in the dictionary, because
    Texans believe the world revolves around the the Lone Star.
11) Apparently, the only reason Texas was on the losing side of
    the Civil War was b/c they had to rely on 12 other states.
12) Stop touching me...  People like to touch you in
    Austin.  "How ya'll doin today?" with a poke on the arm.
13) When I go into a store,  I do not want to talk to the
    cashier until I am ready to pay.  And I do not want
    to hear their life story.
14) Realtors get insulted when you tell them "Let's move on.
    I don't like it."  
15) What the hell is a mud tax?  Please tell me they don't tax
    us on MUD?
16) We went into about 10 bars in Austin, saw plenty of cowboy
    hats, but not one line dancer.  What gives?

All tongue in cheek...  Yes, there is a good possibility this New Yorker will 
be moving to (gulp) Texas within the next 6 months....  How the hell am I going 
to get the Midget down there...

Mike
'78 Midget

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