In a message dated 97-01-29 08:19:27 EST, you write:
> Subj: Tarp's disease
> Date: 97-01-29 08:19:27 EST
> From: zehrinwa@UMDNJ.EDU (William Zehring)
> Sender: owner-mgs@autox.team.net
> Reply-to: zehrinwa@UMDNJ.EDU (William Zehring)
> To: mgs@autox.team.net
>
> Fellow fiends:
>
> Long time members of the list will recall that I periodically publish my
> findings on a new disease associated with MG ownership. After all, I
> teach at a med school so it seems to be the right thing to do...
> Regardless, I've been doing some research and have discovered what I
> think is a here-to-fore uncharacterized malady. As with most MG-related
> diseases, this one is largely behavioral.
>
> Tarp's disease: being expressed in the adult as a compulsion to see what
> sort of car is "under that tarp."
>
> This malady is probably secondary to a condition that many of us find
> ourselves in: an almost filial relationship our cars have with us. We
> witnessed a dramatic expression of this in David D.'s postings on the
> fate of unrestored MGs and the many postings in response to that one. The
> next phase in this is the desire to rescue abandoned and/or abused cars
> from their owners. The clearest signal of such car abuse is the obvious
> profile of an automobile underneath some hideous blue or green tarp,
> usually in the back or side yard. Our undefeatable compulsion is to look
> underneath that tarp and check if it isn't a way cool lbc that needs our
> love. Like the little old lady in the shoe, if we could we'd bring them
> all home and nurture them back to health.
>
> What is the etiology of this disease? My guess is that in fact it is a
> form of regressive behavior; regressive to our grade-school age when many
> boys felt a similar compulsion to see what was covered up. Most of us
> satisfied this curiosity (more or less) by high school. Saddly, it
> returns. I confess that I'm not sure of the etiology in women. Did they
> suffer from a similar compulsion in grade school but carefully kept it to
> themselves? Any comments, ladies?
>
> What is the cure? My guess is, as the firesign theatre once said; the
> only cure is death. In this case, I would speculate that death comes by
> one of two means: auto accident after craining one's neck during the
> drive in to work, or fusillade from the owner of said tarp and car,
> alarmed at the presence of a stranger lurking on his/her property.
>
> Will "the good doctor" Zehring
>
Thanks Will, things have been rather bleek latly and a splash of your humor
always goos a good deal farther than a flame. The Firesign Theater is a dead
givaway to your age.
Porkey Tire Biter
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