Great post Todd. This rivals my proposal of several years ago wherin I
dreamed up the idea of holding the SCCA Nationals on line in virtual
reality. In that proposal, one would get a password upon paying the entry
fee that would allow them to log on to the National Autocross server any
convenient time during a one week period. The driver would then use his
mouse to create his "virtual car" and compete in Nationals. Once the week
was over, the computer would score the event and forward results to all
participants. I think I like your proposal better since it has more human
contact with the National office.
By the way Todd. There is now a surgical proceedure to get that tongue out
of your cheek in case it becomes stuck there.
>From: CSRX7@aol.com
>Reply-To: CSRX7@aol.com
>To: autox@autox.team.net
>Subject: 2000 National Championships Booked!!
>Date: Mon, 27 Sep 1999 01:50:41 EDT
>
>The SCCA has just announced the location and format for the year 2000 Solo
>II
>National Championships. The new format is designed to please every driver,
>and give every car/driver combination a completely equal chance to win.
>SCCA
>has also managed to eliminate any unfair advantage due to all
>circumstances,
>both foreseen and unforeseen.
>
>Through newly acquired sponsorship and newly introduced technology the
>event
>will, for the first time, be completely successful at making the world a
>fair
>and happy place for each and every person who wishes to compete.
>
>The first change is the location. In the year 2000, the event will be held
>within 1 mile of the home of every Solo II driver in the country, in order
>to
>eliminate the need to travel. Anyone who is unable to make the 1 mile trip
>will be transported there free of charge by the National Office.
>
>The date will also be chosen so as not to conflict with any competitor's
>personal schedule. To accomplish this, SCCA will be contacting every person
>living in North America, whether they are Solo II competitors or not. All
>other activities, World-Wide, will be halted for the week of the event so
>as
>to free up everyone who wishes to attend. This includes, but is not limited
>to, all unforeseen accidents and medical problems, the schedules of every
>living human being, the starting of all schools, and all child births.
>
>SCCA is also working closely all governments and employers in existence to
>deem the Solo II National Championships a national holiday. Part of this
>agreement will require all employers to give competitors the time off, with
>pay, so they will be able to attend. As a side note, anyone who informs
>their
>employer that they compete in Solo II will be given a raise sufficient to
>make their year of competition affordable.
>
>Through the SCCA's newest and most impressive sponsor ever, God, all
>weather
>will be perfect for the event. The weather provided will be rain-free, 70
>degree days with a 2 to 5 mph breeze to keep the air fresh and pleasant.
>Humidity level will be perfect, as well. At night, after the event site has
>been vacated, a light rain will wash the course surface clean, and free of
>any debris. A light breeze will then dry the surfaces by the next day.
>Amazingly, all course markings will be preserved and perfectly visible at
>all
>times.
>
>Also through the sponsorship agreement with God, all damaged areas on the
>course surfaces will heal prior to the following driver's run. This will
>assure a perfect course, at all times, for every driver.
>
>Starting no later than January 1, 2000, specially chosen cult leaders will
>visit each and every family in existence. The purpose of these visits will
>be
>to program an irreversible and strong love of autocrossing into every
>living
>human being. This will certainly eliminate the problems so many drivers
>have
>with families who do not live and breathe our beloved sport. Anyone who
>does
>not conform will be killed.
>
>The last problem that SCCA has been able to overcome is that of vehicle and
>driver differences. For the year 2000 season, SCCA announces that every car
>and every driver will now be equally competitive. This should solve the
>never-ending problem of some cars not being nationally competitive in their
>class, as well as some drivers having to compete against "ringers" in their
>respective class. To accomplish this, every car/driver combination will be
>given their own class. Also, in the event that a driver DNF's every run,
>they
>will be allowed to be an honorary class winner.
>
>Incidentally, it has already been pointed out to the Solo Events Board that
>there are still likely to be some drivers who will not be able to trophy in
>their own, private class, under these new rules. The SCCA is working hard
>to
>address this problem and should find a way to overcome this situation by
>the
>end of this year.
>
>The final change will be made to course design. The SCCA has developed a
>new,
>perfect course design. It will be ideal in every way to every car/driver
>combination, and will not favor anyone over another. Look for course maps
>on
>the official SCCA website by December.
>
>Lastly, the Solo Events Board guarantees that the Solo II National
>Championships will meet each and every competitor's own definition of fun.
>Mind readers will survey all Solo II competitors throughout the year and
>the
>SCCA will carefully tailor the program to meet everyone's wants and needs.
>
>In conjunction with this important announcement, the SCCA National Office
>has
>released the following statement:
>"The SCCA has finally taken careful note of all of the whining on Team.net
>over this past few weeks. We might add, by the way, that it all appears to
>be
>profoundly relevant to autocrossing and the furthering of the sport. We
>thank
>you all, from the bottom of our hearts, for opening our eyes to the
>deficiencies we, and life in general, have burdened the Solo community with
>for all of these years. We hope to serve each and every person to the best
>of
>their expectations and desires, and to make life completely fair for all
>humanity that might ever wish to compete in our events. Certainly, we have
>missed the boat so far by not being able to do so."
>
>
>
>Gosh, I can't wait to attend next year!!
>
>Todd Cameron, San Diego Region (now I suppose I've just embarrassed all of
>my
>fellow region members)
>
>Didn't go this year because my son started kindergarten, and as much as I
>would have loved to go to Nationals, I wouldn't have missed Gary's first
>week
>of school for anything in the world. (I guess I'm just not a dedicated
>autocrosser.) Damn, I guess I should have hopped on the Team.net bitching
>band wagon about how unfair life is, instead of accepting that things don't
>always work out and I can't have everything go my way. What in the hell was
>I
>thinking?
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