jaltman@altlaw.com wrote:
>
> I host a Criminal Defense Lawyers mailing list (hold the jokes please) on my
>mail server and this passed by. I thought it interesting enough to pass
>along. I have deleted traces of its origin.
>
> Jim Altman jaltman@altlaw.com non illegitimus carborundum
> http://www.altlaw.com/
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> You all may not be happy to read the following.
> I've excerpted it from my motorcycle club list.
> It represents the recap from an interview between
> a club member and a cop who uses radar.
> I hope no one gives it to any prosecutors.
>
> Just spent an afternoon with a friendly BMW R1100RT rider who happens to
> be a motorcycle policeman. His identity and beat will remain classified.
>
> His new 'toy' for enforcing speed limits is a brand new laser gun. He
> has
> been certified in it's use and thinks it is far superior to any radar
> guns
> he has used before. And yes, it WILL work in the rain. And officers who
> use
> it from cars don't even have to roll down their windows!
>
> pr--Is it true that it is difficult to hit a motorcycle with a laser
> gun?
>
> MP--"Absolutely not. It's a breeze."
>
> pr-Don't you have to hit the headlight to get a good return signal?
>
> MP-"No. Nearly anything will return a signal. Your front tire, forks,
> headlight reflector, fairing, windshield, faceshield, or helmet will do
> just fine. I can pick you off at 1500 feet or more, easy".
>
> pr-How accurate are they?
>
> MP-"Accurate enough to hit you a quarter of a mile or more away, at
> walking
> speed. My unit also tells me your distance away from me in feet."
>
> pr-Do you know if laser detectors work?
>
> MP-We've tested a few, mounted them in patrol cars and have gone out to
> test them. Every unit that had one I nailed at well over the speed
> limit,
> and in each case they NEVER told the officer I had gotten them in my
> sights." (Smiling) Laser detectors are expensive pieces of sh** that
> don't
> even come close to telling you I am gunning you with laser. And if you
> ever
> DO get one to warn you of me, it's too late-I have your butt".
>
> Well, folks, that's the gist of things with our friendly motor cop. Now
> I
> am sure that many may disagree with the laser detector 'review' he gave
> me,
> but he swears they are useless, and even if they did work, he has you
> WAY
> before you can react to any detector. And I have a tendency to believe
> what
> he told me. This was not a formal interview, just two motorcycle riders
> chewing the fat at a local BMW dealer.
Jim,
There is a system that will totally eliminate the threat of Laser based
speed guns (as well as the Doppler Radar type guns). It is a bit on the
expensive side though and has some side effects that haven't yet been
worked out.
The unit is known as the ACME Black-Hole Generator. It uses a nuclear
reactor to generate a black hole that surrounds the front of the vehicle
and absorbs all light and other energy that is directed at it.
However the following drawbacks have been noticed in its use.
1. You can't use it at night, because it of course will absorb your
headlight beam and you won't be able to see the road.
2. Required radiation suits make it very uncomfortable to ride in the
vehicle and restrict visibility.
3. The cost of nuclear fuel these days makes it very expensive to
operate (as previously stated).
4. The weight of the unit is so great that it is highly unlikely the
car will be able to exceed the speed limit with it onboard.
Therefore, the unit has a very limited availability and has only been
effectively used on selected Aussie 4-door vehicles. However, rumor has
it that Dan Masters is fitting one in his monster Ford powered TR6
project car.
Submitted for your approval by,
Joe Curry (Rumors of my death have been greatly exagerated)
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