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Spitfires and non-verbal communications

To: spitfires@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: Spitfires and non-verbal communications
From: Conn <conn@wctc.net>
Date: Fri, 27 Nov 1998 08:02:30 -0600

"Laura G." wrote:

> Hey Dan!
>
> Cool your jets,man. He's just expressing his opinions and experiences.

>
> Now who's on a high horse? Honestly-I read this response of yours and
I
> thought you were mean and condensending-some kinder gentler souls
might be a
> little leary of posting for fear of provoking one of your responses.

For Laura: From a disinterested party, I must say that from a casual
glance, the
bulk of your posts seem almost arrogant. From reading your comments, I
have come
to the conclusion that your car regularly jumps into phone booths, puts
on a
cape, and and goes about saving the world from evil. We all love our
LBCs,
but...

For everyone: e-mail is a unique form of communication. It has no visual
or
audible components, therefore our words have to stand alone to convey
their
meaning. Since in face-to-face communications, words only count for 10%
of the
receivers understanding of the message, we are, in essence, missing 90%
of our
communications tools when we write an e-mail. It has been my experience
(and
I've been using the 'net for a long time) that if a benign message can
be
interpreted as a negative one, it almost always will, particularly when
discussing a subject we feel strongly about. It's very easy for an
expression of
differing opinion to seem like an attack, even when it was not intended
so.  My
advice is, -and this is not an original idea- before you fire off a
post,
proofread it. Look at it from the reader's perspective. Think about how
the
words might be misconstrued. Then, soften it. If it looks like it could
be read
as a negative thought, add words that convey positive emotions. Use
emoticons
(despite their current reputation as being silly, they *work*, and are
one of
the few things that do) to denote when you are joking ;^), happy :^),
sad :o(,
disgusted :^P, or surprised 8^O. I also picked up the habit of using
asterisks
in the way you might use italics, to emphasize a specific word in a text
format
that has no bold or italics.

For the reader: Remember that people seldom *intentionally* get nasty in
a forum
like this. When you read something that could be taken two ways, assume
it was
meant the less offensive of the two, and 99% of the time you'll be
right. And
finally, if you aren't sure about what someone's intentions were, ask
them to
clarify. I'm sure they will, even if it's to say, "Yes, I *did* intend
to imply
that you're a moron."  ;^)

@B^)) (This is me, driving my Spit, wearing a houndstooth snap-brim and
driving
glasses, grinning like an idiot.)




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